I Wayan Juniartha, The Jakarta Post, Denpasar
Each October, a similar feeling of sadness has always managed to creep into the heart of Bagiana Karang. It is the kind of sadness that escapes any effort of verbal description. The feeling totally engulfs him, yet he can't define it.
This year's October has been no different. Sitting on a rattan chair on a shaded verandah in his hometown of Kuta, Bagiana scanned the streets before him with a melancholic gaze.
The streets were dusty, the sun was merciless. And, the usually talkative businessman was still struggling to find the perfect words to describe his feelings.
Eventually, after a long moment of silence, he resorted to a word in his mother tongue of the Balinese language.
""It's the feeling of nyeksek,"" he said.
Nyeksek or seksek tangkahe is the phrase generally used to illustrate how one's chest is filled to the fullest with various, mixed feelings -- from sadness to anger. The chest gets so full that the person comes to the brink of exploding into emotional debris.
""Suddenly, all the memories of that tragic night -- the faces, the pain, the horror -- flood my mind once again, preventing me from thinking about anything else, absorbing me completely,"" he said.
He was talking about that infamous night on Oct. 12 2002, when powerful bombs exploded in two of Kuta's most popular nightspots: The Sari Club and Paddy's nightclub.
The brutal act of terrorism claimed 202 lives, mostly Western tourists, and damaged the tourism industry, which is the island's economic backbone.
Bagiana Karang, then the chairman of Kuta's Community Resilient Council (LKMD), was one of the first people to arrive on the scene.
Along with many of Kuta's other figures, including the charismatic Moslem leader Haji Bambang, Bagiana organized the evacuation of the survivors amid blazing buildings and suffocating smoke.
""For 44 long days, I spent most of my time in the devastated area, assisting the victims and their families, helping the police or simply sitting motionless in one of its deserted corners,"" he said.
""Somehow, I felt a strange, intimate bond growing between me and the souls of the victims. I still feel that connection now. It gets stronger in October,"" he said.
Despite the pain and anger he experienced as the result of the bombings, Bagiana does not harbor any desire for revenge toward the bombers.
The fact that the masterminds of the bombings -- Amrozy, Imam Samudra and Ali Gufron -- are still alive doesn't bother him at all.
""The court has sentenced them to death. Now, their lawyers are contesting that verdict. I believe that eventually the law will provide them with the justice they really do deserve,"" he said.
The absence of the desire for revenge, Bagiana believed, lies in one important lesson the Balinese had acquired in the post-bombing period.
""We have witnessed that peaceful, non-violent responses have saved the island from the grim fate experienced by other areas in Indonesia, such as Poso and Ambon,"" he said.
""A non-violent paradigm has ensured that in the period following the bombings, the island's multicultural society did not fragmentize into militant, feuding groups based on their ethnicity or religious beliefs,"" he added.
Similar opinions are also voiced by the island's noted poetess, Cok Sawitri.
""The Balinese's peaceful and spiritual response to the bombings have prevented the terrorists from achieving one of their most important objectives: inciting violent conflicts in Bali,"" she said.
It is no wonder that the principle of non-violence has been selected as the major theme of this year's commemoration of the 2002 Bombings. Organized by the Kuta's Community Empowerment Council (LPM) the commemoration will commence at pre-dawn on Oct. 12.
""A large number of participants will unroll a white cloth, approximately 12 kilometers long, from the Bali Bombings monument in downtown Kuta, over and along the Kuta's main streets into Ngurah Rai bypass and ending in Jimbaran, the site of the 2005 Bombings,"" LPM's chairman Alit Ardana.
The white cloth, he explained, symbolized peace, purity and a homage to the Mother Earth of Pertiwi.
""We hope that each and every motorist who drives on the cloth-covered roads on that day will be reminded on the importance of the non-violence principle and purity in dealing with the violent culture of this contemporary world,"" he said.
In the evening, the children of the bombings' victims will perform traditional dances and participate in a cultural carnival, which will highlight the diverse aesthetic heritage of the nation.
""It is a commemoration of victory. The victory of peace over violence, the triumph of life over death. We will show the terrorists that bombs and murders will not stop us from leading a full life, a joyous and peaceful life,"" IB Anom said.
Anom is the coordinator of the Bali Journalists Community (KJB), which has assisted LPM in preparing the event.
At the same time, another celebration of non-violence, titled Gema Perdamaian will take place at Denpasar's Bajra Sandhi monument.
Both events will be capped with an interfaith joint-prayer.
""That will be the time when, spiritually speaking, we will be reunited again with those friends we have lost in the bombings,"" Bagiana Karang said.
""That will be the time when we have to let all our sadness and anger flow away,"" he added.
He knows all the wise words. Yet, his glistening eyes and sorrowful tones clearly speak of an open wound in his heart. A wound that will take years to heal.
CAPTIONS
Credit: JP/Lukman S.B.
The atmosphere in Kuta ahead of the 4th anniversary of Bali bombings.
