Hope for God's blessings goes beyond bounds of gender

The Jakarta Post ,  Jakarta   |  Thu, 10/11/2007 10:54 AM

Wahyoe Boediwardhana, The Jakarta Post, Malang

Promises of blessing and mercy from God for those who sincerely perform their religious duties during Ramadhan have lifted the spirits of many Muslims.

The promises not only inspire men and women, but transvestites too -- like 17-year-old Muhammad Yahya from Malang, East Java.

The third-year student at PGRI 6 Kanjuruhan vocational school said he had performed his religious duties the way a man should and hoped to receive blessings.

An active member of the Malang Transvestite Association, he is professionally known as Sasya.

He said no one wishes to be born different, including himself.

""I realize that in one way, physically, I am a man. But at the same time, I can't deny how I feel.

""I want to be loved and love someone (a man), especially a fatherly and protective one,"" he told The Jakarta Post after conducting tarawih prayers at Agung Jami' Mosque in Malang.

The teen -- who prefers to be called Sasya -- realized he was different when he was still in kindergarten. He enjoyed putting on makeup and playing girls' games.

His parents watched his development and eventually came to accept that their fourth child was different.

He says his parents' advice is in the back of his mind at all times -- especially since entering an Islamic boarding school.

""My parents told me I should always continue to serve others,"" he said.

Since about 2000, Sasya has been a santri (student) at Raudlatul Jannah pesantren, led by Dja'far Sodiq, in Mergosono district, Malang.

He has excelled as a religious student -- his favorite subjects are Arabic and Koran -- and even been given a teaching role.

He said his teachers actively guided him, despite his uniqueness.

""At the pesantren I realize that, although I'm a transvestite, dressed in the evenings as a woman, as a Muslim, I have an obligation to perform my religious duties to Allah as a man.

""I am a man and I can't change that.""

Sasya took first prize in a Koran recital competition among pesantrens across East Java in 2001.

This achievement helped him win the trust necessary to be assigned the teaching of younger students.

Of his Arabic and Koran recitation students he said, ""I now teach about 100 students, mostly from kindergarten to sixth grade. They're certainly cute, but sometimes they ask questions that leave me speechless.""

He has been asked if he is afraid of sin, if he dresses up and acts like a woman, what a transvestite does and why he is one.

""Those questions left me speechless.

""Since then, I've decided to stay among the ulema. I need their guidance. I will eventually leave the pesantren, since I want to return to God as a man.""

Sasya has also been called on to help other transvestites.

""He's the best Arabic teacher,"" said his colleague, Muhammad ""Viru Devana"" Arifin, treasurer of the transvestite association.

""He's also the best one to teach reading and writing of the Koran.""

Yahya said he had been seeing someone over the past six months, but that romance could not change his belief that marriage to a man was impossible.

""I have to marry a woman. I don't know when, but I plan to just let things flow, like water,"" said Yahya, who dreams of having his own beauty parlor.

""But my parents are against the plan, so I'll find work according to what I've studied, maybe in accounting, or as an ustadz (preacher).""

This Ramadhan, he is hoping God will guide him when he prays.

""Although I dress like a woman (sometimes), when I die I want to die as a man.

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