It was a particularly bright Monday morning, especially for women, with most public transportation providers in Greater Jakarta providing them special treatment in honor of Kartini Day.

Male passengers were asked to give up their seats to women -- especially older and pregnant women -- in a show of respect for women in general and national heroine Kartini in particular.

But a comment from a male friend made me think twice about whether such special treatment was the only thing society was capable of doing to respect women.

"You women have women-only train cars and soon there will be women-only busways. What's next? You say you are fighting to be treated as equals to men, fighting against gender prejudice and discrimination.

"The truth is, you are just seeking privileges so you can overpower the other sex ...."

The first thought that came to mind as I listened to this was "Macho Man turns Drama Queen".

My best argument was the majority of women had at one point fallen victim to sexual harassment on board public transportation in the city.

Even pregnant women -- bad luck for those lithe or tall women whose pregnancies don't show -- don't deserve a seat on the bus because in the eyes of other (male) passengers, they are just fat ladies who need exercise by hanging halfway out the bus door.

I stopped the argument there because I heard myself asking a question: What are we doing? Are we saying that only women have respect for other women? Are we being exclusive?

Or is that we have interpreted Kartini Day incorrectly?

Since elementary school I was taught that Kartini was a well-educated Javanese woman who came of age before 1900 and wondered why daughters of peasants didn't receive an education.

So, from an early age, I pictured Kartini as a symbol of women who care about what is going on around them.

She could have been named an Education for All heroine or Mother of Modernization for opening a school in her house to teach modern sciences to girls from lower castes. Nevertheless, she only gets the title Hero for Indonesian Women.

No surprise then that the commemoration of this momentous individual at schools, banks, state offices, private companies and TV channels revolves around wearing kebaya or other traditional outfits for women and nasi goreng cooking competitions for men.

I'm wondering whether Kartini would rise from her grave if she saw how Indonesians today have relegated her to such a shallow character.

Rather than letting a grandmother enjoy a seat on a bus for one day out of the year, why not educate both men and women in lessons like behaving well on board public transportation and advanced self-defense for bus passengers?

I have nothing against special buses and train cars for women, since surely I will benefit from the service. But the country's resources are too limited to have separate services for women anytime there is a complaint of sexual harassment or discrimination.

Kartini made people open their minds to change, so it's a step backward if women today can only be themselves for one day -- in a secluded corner.

-- Tertiani ZB Simanjuntak

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