The only thing wholesome is the food

Kenneth Yang ,  Contributor ,  Jakarta   |  Sun, 05/11/2008 12:37 PM  |  On the Town

Vietnamese food is still a relatively new development in Jakarta, and with so many mediocre pho noodle soup chains cropping up in malls, it was always inevitable that a search for real authenticity would mean visiting one of the city's seedier ends.

Lang Viet Caf* sits in the Wijaya Grand Center, a battered wino of a shopping arcade mostly devoted to Japanese and Korean karaoke joints and rather dodgy massage parlors.

Despite its unsavory surroundings, Lang Viet has a reputation for good, no-nonsense Vietnamese food. So risking the fact that a photo of me here would be manna from heaven for any potential blackmailer, I padlocked my pants and headed down.

Wijaya Grand itself has seen better days, so finding the place should be a challenge for most upstanding citizens. The complex is next to Dharmawangsa Square in South Jakarta, so pulling up to there and telling a local street thug that you're looking for a good time (and keeping your pant padlock hidden) should be a good method.

The area is completely safe, I should point out, so no need to worry. And inside, anyway, both the restaurant and the food are completely wholesome.

Lang Viet's menu relies mostly on Vietnamese favorites including the famous pho, which can thoughtfully be ordered in small bowls. The menu is -- in non-Vietnamese style -- entirely pork free, so even though things aren't kosher outside, they're halal inside.

Lang Viet's decor follows the tried and true formula of midrange ethnic kitsch, with the obligatory bamboo and APEC conference style shirts causing exquisite humiliation for the male waiters.

The service is amazingly fast, raising suspicions -- soon found to be baseless -- that the food we were getting is anything but fresh.

First up was the papaya and beef salad, cushioned by crunchy and mercifully fresh green shreds of the fruit. The dried beef on top was magnetically savory and addictive.

The restaurant does an excellent job with another staple, the fresh spring rolls. There is nothing revolutionary about how Lang Viet does the rolls, but the chicken and fresh prawn version is fresh enough to remind you just how badly most places in town make them.

A similar principle applies to Lang Viet's pho, which is outstanding for the very reason that it tastes right. There is a limit on the creativity anyone can demonstrate with this dish, so the key question is: would you want to be fed this after two weeks drinking your own urine in a snowbound cabin?

At least when the beef pho is concerned, the answer is a resounding yes. The soup, with the full complement of garnishes, hoi sin and sriracha sauce, is so strength restoring that the only downside was the fact I had already eaten enough to make nourishment a moot point.

One strong variation of the usual repertoire at Lang Viet is their savory crepe, which the staff like to suggest to customers with cult-like enthusiasm.

The fried crepe folds together a mix of chicken, prawns and shiitake mushrooms with vegetables. The resulting taste is an overkill whole of tongue affair that I would have been better able to describe had I not been pushing into the outer borderlines of gout.

Suffice to say it was delicious (and heavy), kicking my brain over into some sort of extreme pain survival mechanism that sent me into the street punch-drunk and hallucinating.

With my pants tightly bonded to a distended gut, I reeled out into the inelegant decay of Wijaya Grand, safe in the knowledge that pants straining to hold together a swelling body are harder to remove than any padlock.

Lang Viet Caf*
Wijaya Grand Centre
Blok F No. 36B
Jl. Wijaya II, South Jakarta

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