Parents still think tattoos are a lifetime mistake

Daniel Rose ,  Contributor ,  Jakarta, Yogyakarta   |  Sun, 06/22/2008 10:44 AM  |  Lifestyle

"Mimi": (JP/Indra Harsaputra)

"Mimi" was 18 when she got her first tattoo. She looked for a unique design, one that would blow her friends' minds when she showed it to them. The result, however, was a disaster.

Out of millions of options, Mimi went for a butterfly tattoo. And not just any butterfly, it is a tribal butterfly that looks like the logo of ASEAN. Yes, the Association of Southeast Asian Nations.

"My friends make fun of it all the time," Mimi says.

Two years and seven tattoos later, her friends' remarks turned out to be least of her problems. As the tattoos were only on her back and chest, she thought her parents would never find out, as long as she stayed covered. She failed to anticipate that one's shirt collar can hang low when one is asleep, and sometimes you simply forget to lock your bedroom door.

"My mom came to wake me up, saw the tattoo on my chest," Mimi says, "and man, the drama I had to go through for days."

"They threw in all the normative and religious arguments, telling me how people see tattoos with a negative attitude, and that God forbids it.

"I said, well, to me they are a work of art, and I love them."

TATTOOED WOMAN: Young women are showing interest in having their skin tattooed despite the prevailing negative stigma surrounding body art (photo above, below left).(JP/Indra Harsaputra)

Unlike Mimi, Luka Muhamad, 30, had his father's consent when he first decided to adorn his upper arm with a tattoo.

"I had just graduated from high school and my dad's only advice was that I should think it over and then over again because it would stay with me forever," he says.

"I remember the day when a family in my neighborhood seared the chest and arm of their delinquent son with a hot iron as a warning that he must stop getting tattoos."

Mimi's story and the story of the poor troublesome teenager are a small representation of how differently the older and younger generations view tattoos. Asked about their initial reason for getting a tattoo, most younger people offer personal and romantic answers, such as wanting to look different or cool, being curious about the pain, being envious of someone else's tattoo or being madly in love.

Elisabeth Oktofani, or Fani, 20, engraved the initial of the man she considered her true love on the upper side of her right buttock two years ago.

"The M here is for Markus, and also for Mistake. We broke up a month ago. Now I just have to wait for it to stand for someone or something else."

Fani's parents did not discover the tattoo until she got more tattoos -- a cross, a peacock and J-E-S-U-S. When they finally did find out, they told her to get rid of them except, ironically, the cross.

"It costs around fifteen million rupiah to laser off just one tattoo, so I told them I would only do so if they gave me the money. The quarrel stopped there," Fani says, laughing.

Fani must have predicted her parents' response, except for their attitude toward the cross tattoo. But her decision did not waver. And therein lies the parents' true concern for their children's stained epidermis: They are showing us the symbol of their rebellion.

"I know I would be upset if my son didn't ask for my permission to get a tattoo, even though he's old enough to take full responsibility for his own actions," says Kay Sirie, 55, a mother of two.

"On the other hand, my religion forbids tattoos," she continues, hinting what her answer would be if her son did ask for permission.

For most of its murky history, the tattoo was used to mark criminals in old Christian kingdoms. In Ancient Rome and Greece, the tattoo was considered barbaric as it was used mainly to mark slaves and criminals.

However, in many other parts of the ancient world, such as Egypt, Japan, Polynesia, Borneo and New Zealand, the tattoo held spiritual significance. Borneo is one of the few places where traditional tribal tattooing is still practiced.

Still, religion may not be the only reason to despise the tattoo. According to a recent study conducted in the United States, a substantial number of adolescents with tattoos are promiscuous, take drugs, drink alcohol, are violent and have problems at school.

You may be rebellious or curious and perhaps are thinking: Can a simple tattoo really be that bad when nearly everybody else -- friends, actors, singers, athletes, models -- has one?

Luka first desired a tattoo because he wanted to be cool. But each of his tattoos has a meaning.

His second tattoo is the name of his late fiancee, the last one is the name of his son, and somewhere in between them are wings, a symbol of hope for a better future.

"Tattoos aside, it is your positive contributions that counts. Don't be so quick to underestimate someone just because he or she has tattoos," Luka, a former graphic designer who now works freelance in various fields, says.

"But for those who want one, I have to say that a tattoo is more than just a way to be different or bold, it is a lifetime commitment."

Copyright © 2008 The Jakarta Post - PT Bina Media Tenggara. All Rights Reserved.