Becky Tumewu: ‘I would like to confide in Oprah’

The Jakarta Post - WEEKENDER   |  Sat, 08/23/2008 1:33 PM  |  20/20

Becky Tumewu is a hopeless romantic. The movie and song tastes of the former breakfast TV, talk show and radio host run to the sentimental love-lasts-forever Notebook and You by Basil Valdez. “I realize now that life is not so sweet but I hang on to romance, even if my husband thinks I am a bit silly,” says one of the country’s most popular emcees. At 38, the mother of two says she is feeling and looking better than ever, and has the confidence that comes with making it through life’s sticky patches. Now running a school to find the Beckys of the future, she loves her family and friends of all persuasions, and wants to be able to sit down with two very important women in her life.

How has your day been?
Right now I’m in my garden, watching the workmen make a dog enclosure. It’s been fine so far. I’m a very positive person, so every day is a positive day.

What do you do when you are down?
I watch Friends or Sex and the City. I have some new favorites – Will and Grace and Brothers and Sisters. I laugh, cry and smile while watching Brothers and Sisters; it reminds me of my own family. When you feel bad, when you feel things aren’t what you expected, watch something funny.

Which characters do you like the most?
I really like Jennifer Aniston as Rachel, but the silliest is Joey, his life is so simple. In Will and Grace, it’s Sean Hayes. It’s a bit like my life because I’m surrounded by gay friends, who bring color into my life. Maybe that is why my husband is so comfortable. He doesn’t have to worry who I am with; he doesn’t have to think about picking me up. I can be independent. Deborah from Will and Grace is so me, I’m such a fag hag. I call my friends and say, “Hi, how are you, fag?” And they’ll reply, “I’m OK, hag.”

Your idea of a perfect weekend?
Relaxing at home with my husband and two kids. We don’t have to go out, just stay home and watch TV. The most important thing is to be together.

Describe your life’s journey …
My life is interesting, with highs and lows, but the good thing is that I have been able to survive until now, in so many aspects of life. I’ve lost my mom, my best friend, but I survived it all. I had a boyfriend for five years and then we broke up. When I was dating my husband, we fought a lot, but we have still been able to build a household together. Thank God, I have been able to stand tall through it all.

I would never …
Compare my two daughters, because they are both unique.

My greatest achievement …
In my career, it’s my show Back to Beck. Other jobs brought me more money, but that show was special because the idea was from me. I was involved in everything. I did it all, with my own team and supported by MetroTV. It came from my idealism; I wanted it to be inspirational. If people say it was derivative, well, I wanted to follow Oprah (she’s my goddess), to be inspiring to viewers. It’s too bad there wasn’t a market for that at the time. So, luck wasn’t on my side. But even if I died tomorrow, I could go with a smile on my face. Been there, done that.

Personally, my greatest achievement is my daughters. They are everything; I live for them.

I always carry with me …
My cell phone, because I can’t live without my cell phone. And I always bring my eyelash curler (laughs). For me, it’s OK not to have makeup on, but eyelashes make you look different immediately. Try it!

The last thing I think of at night …
Don’t forget to pray, and don’t forget to check if the alarm is on.

Do you forgive or forget?
I forget. If you cannot forget, you keep remembering what happened and it eventually hurts you. Even though you say you forgive, if you don’t forget, it still bothers you.

My favorite age?
Right now. When I was a kid, my family took care of everything, my mom was there. But now, with my career and my confidence, it’s the best. I know I look good, I feel good and my life is so complete in so many ways. And this is one thing about getting to this age – you are rich enough to share, and feel safe enough to do it. Because, when you are younger, you don’t want to do that – you think they’ll take over from you. Now, if they do, it will make me proud. I feel so rich inside and out!

What does money mean to you?
It’s important, but it shouldn’t make you sacrifice other things, including the lives or livelihoods of other people. If you can make money without causing losses to others, go for it.

Life motto …
Live from day to day, do one thing at a time and go with the flow.

Dream dinner guests …
Oprah Winfrey, because I want to have the chance to sit down and confide in her. “Oprah, I wanted to be like you, but in Indonesia … well, it’s so sad …” (laughs). And my mother. I miss her. I became what I am today because of her support.

How do you want to die?
I’m not afraid to die. When it’s time to go, you have to go. But I hope it doesn’t happen from a bad illness, or something that makes me ugly, because that would be bad for those around me, having to deal with that. Hopefully, I won’t be a bother to others and, most importantly, I can see my daughters find their life partners before I go.

+Bruce Emond
Illustration by Martin Dima

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