Style Bites: Mall weekender style misbehavior countdown

Sun, 09/07/2008 9:44 AM  |  Lifestyle

Jakarta. One big city. Two options for the city weekender's destination: Malls or elsewhere.

The ever-growing shopping-entertainment-eateries-hang-out spots fill every empty space in the city, competing fiercely to present the most glamonstrous facilities and look. Is it true, shopping is soul food? And if it is soul food, can it also be eye-sight food as well?

When the country was hit with the 1997 economic crisis, past fun with its variety of weekend activities was the last thing on peoples' minds. Weekend getaway -- no mood. Overseas trip -- too expensive. Out of town travel -- too troublesome. People wondered what to do and where to go that was safe for them as well as their wallets.

After going through some turbulence, it was natural to treat themselves to a few drops of fabulousness to humor their wounded memory even though it may not be as thrilling as before. And shopping malls are so far the closest thing in reach for simple refreshment and a change of scenery from the hustling, bustling city chaos.

Suddenly people changed their lifestyles so the mall could become an easy way to taste a bit of fab. Since everything else seemed too expensive, malls became the answer for those who like to shop a lot or just hang out with friends over a cup of coffee. If you're a big spender, a little spender, or a spender's thief, malls are the right place to be. And isn't it a great money-making opportunity as all the mall developers quickly provided the right playground for all the excitement-hungry Jakartans?

One thing about my country I still ponder daily is how, when most of its citizens are relatively poor, can a few others be so filthy rich that they can afford a Prada bag at the same price as one suburban BTN house in Bekasi. And I believe there's a colossal demand in that posh department since lately the giant words of GUCCI, PRADA, CHANEL, LOUIS VUITTON and CHRISTIAN DIOR were blasting me from some mall's walls.

Anyway, mall life is considered chaotic and eclectic nowadays. One Friday night I wandered into this chaos. I felt like I was in some kind of carnival. It was a full house, including families, teens, socialites, fashionistas and baby-sittas! Of course, I can't help but watch the way mall crowds carry themselves in style. I must admit, fashion awareness at the mall has drastically increased these days.

But still, with the uniqueness and variety of people and cultures here, we still must witness what I call "faux-fab" while enjoying the mall. Ladies, gentlemen and families: We're all aware of the reasons why we're at the mall, but let's just fix some "style misbehaviors" that generally irritate my eyes -- and probably yours too. Here comes the 10 Mall Weekender Style Misbehavior Countdown:

10. The English-speaking Indonesian dominatrix

Fine, we know you're a killer lady with tons of luxurious assets, a rich husband, and endless travel plans, but that doesn't mean you can flaunt your so-so English to communicate -- especially with those poor sales girls -- just to make you feel more upscale.

9. Draggy walk and moves

Besides destroying your footwear quicker, it also creates annoying sounds -- and drives the Dutch-educated grandmas crazy. It's not attractive, especially when you draggy walk and huddle up with your partner in front of the escalator path -- move out of the way!!!

8. Traditional batik cloth to carry babies

I enjoyed being in there when I was a baby, carried by my baby-sitter. But with all the glams of today, if you decide to bring your baby-sitter to the mall, at least don't make her look like she's about to feed your baby at your housing complex's playground.

7. Hotel slippers

It doesn't matter if the five-star hotel where you're staying is attached to the mall, wearing hotel slippers to shop in is a big No No, unless you're still a teenager with an identity crisis and can't decide to go alternative or indie.

6. Walking horizontally in a group

Walking at the mall needs to be choreographed, especially during busy times; do not walk horizontally with your group as it blocks others who want to pass by you. Naomi, Linda and Claudia have stopped walking the catwalk horizontally ever since Versace label was still Gianni Versace!

5. Baby-sittas parade

When you have kids and still want to remain fabulous instead of getting baby puke on your shoulder, you bring your baby-sitters, one for each baby. But do you consider giving them a weekend break? At the same time reducing the craziness of the mall crowd? Have some "sport" with your own kids once in a while!

4. Family car brigade

There'll be plenty of taxis waiting to give you and/or your family a ride. Leave the car at home. Instead, consider "feeding" the taxi driver. At the same time, it reduces stress in finding a parking spot and queuing to get out.

3. Over-dressed and over-hairdos

Even sometimes the mall seems like a runway. The style ranges from children's wear, teen wear, family wear and "single and fabulous" wear. Mall life is still not a couture catwalk. You may think you're Sarah Jessica Parker, or perhaps Joan Collins, but this isn't the place for it; ladies -- leave those blinks, heavy make up, flashy dresses and the cotton candy hair at home! Save yourself from being a target for modern thieves and hypnotists (or whatever you call them nowadays) -- and bitches.

2. Speaking "hands free" while your hand is holding the phone

Need I say more. What's the point?

1. Guys carrying girl's handbags

Eeeek! Number one on the style misbehavior chart, it is nothing more than a cosmopolitan form of slavery! Ladies, if you don't have enough strength to carry your gergantuous handbag, then trade it in for something smaller. Never let your guy carry it; somehow tote and bloke just don't go together.

Well, hope this little overview will help all of us enjoy mall life better and shop happily ever after. Have a good weekend, everyone!

--Diaz

Copyright © 2008 The Jakarta Post - PT Bina Media Tenggara. All Rights Reserved.