Orlando: Clean, wholesome adult entertainment

The gate of Universal Studio is one of favorite spots for photographs. (JP/Endy M. Bayuni)

Who says we adults can't have fun? Head to Orlando and answer that for yourself. If you're thinking of decadent adult entertainment, go down further south in Florida or Miami. Stop in Orlando if you're looking for the kind of fun children enjoy, but also think we adults should try. And don't forget to leave the children behind. This is strictly for adults.

Make that trip to Orlando not during school holidays or on the weekends. Try October as we did, or any other month when American children are in school. You will have even more fun than they would.

Just think: More than half a dozen theme parks to choose from, and barely a line, and thus no waiting time, for all the rides and shows.

There would be some lines at Disney's Magic Kingdom, the most popular and largest theme park in Orlando, but they are not likely to be long. At most, you will wait 10 or 15 minutes top, rather than the average 90 minutes or longer during the peak holiday seasons.

In fact, we skipped the Magic Kingdom in spite of people saying that no trip to Disney World would be complete without it. We had only three days to spare on our recent trip to the United States, and took the advice of a friend who said we're too old for that kind of stuff anyway. We opted for SeaWorld and Universal Studios -- both are not part of the Disney World -- and Epcot, the theme park that was originally designed by Disney with adult visitors in mind.

We may not have had the Magic Kingdom experience, but we had fun nevertheless, taking in just about all the rides and the shows that these three parks had to offer, in just two days.

The key to enjoying Orlando is the absence of lines for all the rides.

During the busy peak holiday seasons, you will be lucky to even cover one theme park in a single day as you are most likely to waste time waiting. Most rides are three minutes or less, and it seems like a gross waste of time to queue for 90 minutes.

SeaWorld's sea lion show. (JP/Endy M. Bayuni)

In SeaWorld and in Universal Studios, be prepared to get wet, and not just from the drizzle of Orlando's October days.

Just about every other ride involves getting you either splashed that leaves you soaking wet, sprayed or squirted with water.

You even get spat at by Maggie, the baby girl character in the Simpsons Ride (waiting time zero minutes), by far the most popular feature at Universal Studio. Fortunately, her saliva tastes of strawberry.

You still can get on heart-stopping adventurous rides in SeaWorld, Universal Studios, or Epcot, although admittedly not as exciting (scary?) as the Magic Kingdom's Space Mountain roller coaster. There is Kraken "monster coaster" which SeaWorld boasts as one of the world's top 10 coasters; since water is the main theme, inevitably you come away from the ride not only with a faster heartbeat, but also completely drenched.

At Epcot, try Test Track, where you go on a ride to get a taste of the many safety tests a prototype car typically goes through before production.

That means getting banged, and that at maximum speed, braking suddenly or serving around difficult corners.

In Mission Space, you are designated a role in a space lab, and find out what it's like being launched by a rocket, all without ever living planet Earth.

Most indoor rides are simulations combined with wide theater screens, sometimes but not always 3-D, rows of seats that rock, jerk, tilt and move in line with what you see on screen, and the occasional spray or squirt of water, or the appearance of real characters interacting with the movie. This is Hollywood and its special effects at its best.

The Simpsons Ride. (JP/Endy M. Bayuni)

Speaking of Hollywood, many of the rides take after popular movies, both the recent as well as the dated ones. Universal Studios and Disney move with the times and replace some of the older rides with newer ones (Nemo and Friends, Shrek, Twister and The Simpsons), but retain the classic ones because of their popularity.

At Universal, you can still take a boat ride with Jaws trying to scare you to bits (obviously it doesn't work anymore, but it's still fun), walk down Hollywood memory lane with I Love Lucy (we skipped that one, thanks, we're not that old), the Terminator 2 in 3D (with Arnold before he became California governor).

At SeaWorld, take the bumpy Wild Arctic Ride before stopping off at a base camp to explore the wildlife, from dolphins, polar bears and sea lions to otters. Also check out the performance schedules. Our favorite was Clyde and Seamore Take Pirate Island, featuring sea lions, otters and walruses.

Epcot is fun and educational too, with half of the park dedicated to selected countries displaying their architecture, culture and food. China and Japan are represented.

In many of the rides or shows, they make you a part of the story -- which is why safety is important. You are briefed on your role and your safety is a routine part.

But unlike hospitals, you don't have to sign anything that relieves the theme parks of their responsibility should anything happen to you. Now -- that would for sure scare adults more than children.