Style Bites: The `right one' and the `right now' is just one click away

Sun, 11/09/2008 10:59 AM  |  Lifestyle

Another friend of mine just got married. They are the fourth couple I know, who in the past three years have tied the knot after meeting on the Internet. Somehow I am not surprised -- today's love stories, marriages, hot dates and even scandals often begin from an online contact.

For those who are still single, looking, and not internet hook-up friendly, let me tell you -- the place to meet your fantasy or possible lifetime partner can be just one click away.

I still believe the Internet has great potential to spark real romance (or disaster!). It totally gives one new access to life, and who can leave this instantaneous "get your way" engine now? I and the majority of the world citizens have now begun a new addict category -- internet addict. When you have a question, just Google it; when you want to watch something, YouTube it; when you want to meet someone -- well which way you wanna go? Because there are so many!

But it's a bit like an old Indonesian phrase "buying a cat in a sack", which means you can't be totally sure who you are going to meet from the Internet, based on their photos and basic written statistics only. You could either meet an angel or a monster, so let's find out who are you going to deal with.

A catchy "online nickname" is what will likely get your attention, and seeing a clear photograph with a flare of flirts is actually likable. Did you take note of that? But annoyingly true, the fact is this photo situation is often not real, or belongs to someone else or is just a stolen image from another website.

How ironic is that? When there's no legal prosecution for showing your face online, why can't people be open about themselves here? A bit shy on what selling themselves on the cyber world connotes perhaps? Then why do they prefer to show their body parts rather than their face? Just remember -- no face picture, no reply!

Anyway, discretion, dignity, embarrassment and hypocrisy often create so many virtual puzzle pieces which need to be united.

Sometimes you need to be able to read their statistics between the lines. Not just physically, but also psychologically by reading what they write about themselves before sending them messages or beginning a chat!

In this chapter you really need to sharpen your intuitive skills to figure out who you are chatting with. If he/she starts to push your wrong button or to speak at a different level of connectivity, waste your time no more -- just ignore him/her.

The most common opening line I receive sounds like, "Hi, may I know you?" or something which sounds weirder in the use of abbreviated terms such as "Hi, q leh nalan, gi dmana?" (hi, aku boleh kenalan? lagi dimana? or hi, may I know you? where are you?). It sounds too "submissive" for me, or maybe the person is trying too hard to be a "buddy", or is this person just lazy or afraid there'll be a charge per letter to write me a message? I normally just trash it. Next!

I'll go for something that sounds like, "I think your profile is hot, but you're hotter", or "Really cool profile, check out mine, see if you like it?"

Don't you think that sounds more appealing?

Before we get to the more advanced step -- meeting up in reality -- remember it is totally your decision whether or not to give your number to the stranger you're about to meet or if you prefer to have total control -- by having his/her number and not vice versa. Speaking on the phone will help you figure out more who you will be dealing with.

A friend of mine has one phone only for this business, he calls this phone "a dirty handphone", so it won't get mixed up with his "holy handphone", I suppose.

If the purpose of this meeting is not a booty call, many people prefer to meet at public places, such as a cafe or mall. This will make it easy for you to move rather than getting stuck there too long when your date turns out to be ewww.... But remember, surely there'll be some eyes watching your awkwardness in this public place as well.

That can be uncomfortable, so to be safe, just choose a spot to meet up which is less busy.

Now, if the person turns out to not be the same as his/her photo -- which means "liar" -- you have the full right to leave (giving extra revilement is acceptable, too).

If he/she turns out to not really be your type -- perhaps you don't like the way she chews her food, or dislikes his stinky breath, but you still consider him/her a nice person -- then you can either excuse yourself so as to not waste anymore time and just go, or you can have a decent conversation over the meal and carry on with your meeting.

But remember do NOT give anymore hope -- not even a flirt!

However, never, ever have your expectations too high that you will catch the love of your life when you're "fishing" on the Internet. Just open your fishnet wide while quietly attracting the fish to come in. Be patient and have fun with whatever messages you receive even if they sound silly or tacky. That's part of the online dating game.

Anyway it's so cheap and easy to begin with. No requirements to dress up, put on make up, put gel in your hair or use perfume in order to impress anyone. No waste of money for transport, a meal, drinks, or extra water to wash away your make up and hair gel in case of a date malfunction.

If by the time you meet your online date and you click, then it's good news. Probably you'll be the fifth couple I will soon know who tied the knot due to the net. And if it doesn't end up in a good way -- follow my steps -- make it a juicy story over lunchtime with friends. It helps to share my moments of disaster and turn them into something rather entertaining for all of us.

--Diaz

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