Strangers in Paradise

I once had a face-off with a woman in a clothing shop because she was hysterical and accusing everyone in the store of stealing her cell phone.

It was not my intention to get involved in her frenzied monologue, but she was getting out of control and nobody was stepping in, either because of the language barrier or because she was a foreigner.

“What kind of country is this?” she shouted in thick accented English to no one in particular, standing in front of two baffled cashiers who had been on the receiving end of a barrage of Dutch curses.

“A beautiful, smiling country?” she said, her tone rising as she became more agitated.

As if answering her own rhetorical question – or simply revealing to us Indonesians the truth about our own country – she said, “It is NOT!”

I agree to some extent that we are not the smiley, welcoming people that we advertise ourselves to be, and that there are things about our country that could use a lot of improvement.

But for the woman to infer that we are a nation of thieves just because she was unfortunate enough to have her cell phone stolen (which could happen anywhere in the world) was a tad too much.

I went up to her and told her to report the crime to security, or shut up and leave, which she did after some attempts at protesting. After our little tiff, some shoppers came up to thank me.

“Just because she is a Westerner doesn’t mean she could do that,” one of them said.

I smiled at her politely, but in the back of my mind I thought, sometimes people could do that because you allow them to.

I have nothing against people who come and make a living in Indonesia, whatever country they come from. One of my closest friends is a Westerner who has made Indonesia his home for more than a dozen years, and who loves this country as much as the next Ratih or Agus.

There are many foreigners who have devoted their lives to this country, and put many Indonesians to shame for their contributions.

What I cannot stand, however, is the type of expatriate who perceives Indonesia as a backward country waiting to be saved – a nation of lazy, corrupt and incompetent people.

They exist in their comfortable expatriate bubbles, often only having direct interaction with locals when they give orders to their maids or chauffeurs. Still, simply because of their privileged backgrounds, they believe they have more knowledge about Indonesia and are here to put things right.

I knew a foreign journalist working for a Western media outlet who always spoke about this country in contemptuous tones. He was so cynical about everything Indonesian that I wondered how he could be balanced in his reporting.

In press briefings, he posed the most condescending questions – the kind of questions that don’t need answers, like those asked by that hysterical Dutch woman.

For these people, it seems the opinions of Indonesians hold little value.

They routinely dismiss the positive aspects of Indonesia – except for the fact that everything is cheap – and complain about everything that is bad.

But you know, rather than hating them (like I used to do), I feel a little sorry for them. They are so wrapped up in their opinions and fixed perceptions they could never truly step out of their limited expatriate experience.

But sadly, like the shoppers who cravenly accepted that irate woman’s tirade, this type of behavior is tolerated, even accepted, by us.

Perhaps it is the Indonesian need to be the “good host” and please one’s “visitors”, or perhaps because we loathe confrontation – especially if it involves speaking in another language. Or, maybe, we do see ourselves as being less worthy than our foreign counterparts.

Many people I know are paid about half as much as their foreign colleagues at work, even though they have better qualifications and experience.

But ignorant expatriates are hardly the real problem, considering their small number. What I find more irritating are Indonesians who are foreigners in their own country.

They seem uncomfortable speaking Indonesian to their own compatriots, and if they do, they mangle the language by mixing every other word with an English word, a phenomenon one teen actress uses to her comic advantage.

Worse, they are embarrassed and disdainful of their own country and people, as in the case of a person I know who has made a point of befriending only expatriates.

It’s time for us to shed this shuffling embarrassment about our country and celebrate what we have to offer, while working on putting things right.

Because if we don’t show any respect for our own people, how do we expect others to do so?

+ Devi Asmarani

Back to The top page