A recent national survey shows women are the breadwinners in 13 percent of households. In most cases, they work because their husbands have been killed in armed conflicts or have gone missing looking for decent jobs. Divorce is the norm, while others have to support younger siblings because both parents are dead. To commemorate Mother's Day on Dec. 22, The Jakarta Post's Triwik Kurniasari was invited by the Mandiri Community Empowerment National Program (PNPM) and the World Bank to observe the women of Adonara, East Nusa Tenggara, in their struggle for better welfare and rights as citizens in a patriarchal society. The following are the reports from the visit.
"Now, please welcome a parade of gardening costumes. Bring it on, ina-ina (ladies)!" said the master of ceremonies at a fashion show in Kelubagolit, Adonara Island, East Nusa Tenggara.
Eight ladies, wearing tenun sarongs, balancing bamboo baskets on their heads and carrying hoes in hands confidently strolled onto the stage as if supermodels gracing the catwalk.
Unlike other fashion shows, the women did not simply model outfits but pretended to work like farmers by turning soil and cutting grass.
Their performance drew applause from the largely-female audience, who shouted, "Way to go, ina-ina!"
The show was just one of a series of activities held by the Female Heads of Households Empowerment (Pekka) in the region to commemorate Mother's Day, which falls every year on Dec. 22.
Besides the fashion parade, local village women also had a chance to participate in quiz contests.
Kristina Meme Kopon, a contestant in the parade, said she was very pleased to have partaken in the costume contest.
"This competition really boosted my confidence. Ten years ago, I might not have had the opportunity or courage to do something like this," said Kristina.
Kristina said the Pekka program had really changed the lives of some women in the region.
Pekka was set up in 2001 with the assistance of the National Women's Rights Commission. It provides widows, divorcees, single mothers and wives of missing or seriously ill husbands with material assistance, and supports the powerless against discrimination and violence.
Based on figures from the Central Statistics Agency, around 13 percent of households in the country are headed by women.
Mariam Bengataka, a resident from Pepakgeka village in Adonara Island, said it used to be difficult for a woman to express herself in such a patriarchal society.
Mariam had been struggling to support her three children after her husband went to Sabah, Malaysia, to find work when she was 23.
She used to have faith that her husband would find work at the coast, but nothing eventuated.
"He promised to send me money routinely, but he lied. He didn't send me any money or even a letter for 14 years," she said.
Now at the age of 43, Mariam has tried forgetting her husband and focusing on supporting her three children instead.
"I did anything I could to support my children. I weaved tenun cloth, turned coconuts into copra and farmed," she said, adding that she was also active in running a local integrated health service posts (posyandu).
"But the money was not enough to pay for my children's school fees. I could only send them to elementary school," Mariam said.
Siti Anisah, 43, is also facing the same problems. She has been selling dried fish and weaving tenun since her husband went to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, about 13 years ago.
"I can earn Rp 50,000 (US$4) to 100,000 per month from selling tenun at the nearby market, while I can scrape together between Rp 5,000 to Rp 10,000 each day by selling fish," said Siti, a Boleng village resident in Adonara Island.
"My husband never gave us any money, even when he came home three months ago. I accepted his return because he is still my husband, no matter how bad he is," she said, adding that divorce was forbidden in her community.
Siti said her life began to improve in 2003 after she joined Pekka, which allows its members to take loans from the organization for their small businesses.
She said she used the loan to renovate her house and establish a kiosk.
Mariam also took advantage of the program. She established her own kiosk and renovated her home using the loan, which is normally a few million rupiah borrowed at low interest.
Through Pekka, she learned self-respect and the ability to express her opinion on a range of issues.
"The program has helped me become more independent and I have a chance to meet friends from other villages," said Mariam.
Bernadette Deram, a field coordinator of Pekka, said convincing women not to be afraid of expressing themselves took a long time.
"Women in the villages face discrimination when it comes to their position in a marriage. Traditionally, when a man marries a woman, he can do anything to her," said Dette.
"Women cannot ask for divorce. If they insist on separating from their husbands, they receive nothing, even if they have been the sole provider for the family.
"So, we try to teach women they are equal to men and that they can improve their quality of life without depending on others," she said.
She said some members have gone on to be successful businesswomen and some even lead villages. Others have proven they are the backbone of their families.
These moves toward independence do not always run smoothly though, with Mariam being beaten by her husband after she joined Pekka.
"He said the program was not good for me. I could not handle the abuse anymore and decided to leave home," she said, adding that besides beating her, her husband also took over her kiosk.
She said she did not want to remain passive and allow her husband to continue beating her.
"I'm striving to protect my rights. The kiosk is the result of my hard work. I hope that Pekka can help me out," said Mariam.
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