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View Point: It's Indonesia and I can't complain
Tasa Nugraza Barley , Maryland | Sat, 01/10/2009 10:19 AM | Opinion
I was fortunate to live in the United States for more than two years. I never thought I could spend my youth in another people's land. It was weird when I first set foot on Washington, D.C. Everything was so different.
I felt so lonely when the driver took me from the airport to my hotel. I didn't see many people on the streets, a scene that I always saw in Jakarta.
During my first three months I thought I wouldn't be able to survive. I couldn't stop thinking about the life I had left in Jakarta. I could remember all the laughter that I had shared with friends and family. I knew I couldn't enjoy that kind of life anymore in Washington, D.C.
But then I found something unique about life in America, or at least in some parts of America. It was something I couldn't find at home. For the very first time I realized that walking on the sidewalk while enjoying the fresh weather was so delightful.
For the very first time I realized that reading a book on a clear sunny day was one of the greatest things in this life. It was so refreshing.
In America I stopped completely at any stop sign although no car was coming toward me. Somehow I felt proud that I could follow the law even though nobody was watching me.
I started to enjoy living in America.
Now that I've been in Jakarta, the place I will always call home, for more than a week, I feel lost. It's hard to enjoy the kind of life I had when I have to struggle so hard everyday, fighting against crazy motorcycles and cars on the streets.
Driving in Washington, D.C., was an effective relaxation for me. In Jakarta it's a different story; it's a war. This head seems to explode.
And it was a couple days ago that I first found out that going to Pondok Indah Mall 2 was no longer an exciting experience. I was surprised to know this fact, since hanging out at a mall was something I used to love so much.
I get so mad and angry seeing people in Jakarta breaking street rules so easily as if those signs were meant to be accessories. At first I told myself these people were barbaric, but then a friend of mine reminded me that I would eventually like them.
He suggested that I shouldn't be so American and said, "You're Indonesian, act like one."
He thought that I just needed to relax a little bit and accept that Indonesia is Indonesia. "It's just the way of life around here," he explained.
My friend might be right. I should stop complaining and start acting like a real Indonesian. Maybe I just have to get myself used to crossing the red light when cops aren't around. I used to do it before anyway.
I want to fight, but I guess it's impossible. I guess I'm just going to have to follow my friend's suggestion and accept that Indonesia will always be Indonesia.
From my deepest heart, I feel so sad. I feel like I want to be a different kind of Indonesian, the kind of Indonesian that I never became. It would be a dream comes true if I could say to my friends how proud I am of becoming a good and civilized Indonesian.
It would be so wonderful if I could tell my friends how I have been driving like a civilized person following every traffic sign and respecting pedestrians.
I bet it would be amazing if I could tell my friends how I had been participating in saving the environment, how I don't throw trash anywhere like I used to.
But it's not easy to be the kind of Indonesian I want to be in this city. It's so hard for me to be a good Indonesian when people around me don't think that being Indonesian also means that you can dream big and be different.
It's so hard for me to be the kind of Indonesian that I want to be when people look at me so weird just because I want to follow the right procedures.
And it's so hard for me to convince others how my willingness to do great change has nothing to do with my "Americanity". It's just simply because I've seen how other nations can be so much better than us and I think we can be like them too.
I'm not happy to admit this, but it's true: The whole condition doesn't seem to support me and more likely I will become Indonesian as much as I used to be.
The writer is a postgraduate student in Washington, D.C.
What's On
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11/05/2009 12/07/2009 Ganesha Gallery, Four Seasons Hotel Jimbaran, Bali. - Choreography of Colours; Sardono W. Kusumo's first solo painting exhibition
11/12/2009 12/12/2009 vivi yip art room Annexe Ciputra World Marketing Gallery Jalan Prof Satrio Kav 11, Casablanca
Jim S (not verified) — Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:48am
I think you article was great. I am an american living in Jakarta and understand how you feel coming back to Indonesia. I'm married to an Indonesian, and she feels the same way coming back to Jakarta.
The one thing that makes us crazy is, if she complains about something to her friends, they always say this is Indonesia. Like there is no room to change or improve.
Yes Jakarta has it's own uniqueness, but when it comes to traffic there needs to be some changes and I don't see anything wrong with trying to improve.
As an expat, I complain too much about things here, like the way people drive. I don't complain cause I don't like it here, I complain cause I've been here for 11 years and this feels like my home. I want to see things get better, and the only way is for people like you to see how things could be, and try to make the changes here.
So please, tell your friends and get people to understand that things can be better.
Didit Eko Setiawan (not verified) — Mon, 01/12/2009 - 11:24am
Your writing is nice, encouraging us to do better. Yet I absolutely proud to be Indonesian and living in Indonesia. Despite my previous "home" at Netherlands, I feel and think that living in Indonesia is my best choice.
Traffic congestion and bumper to bumper you may meet anywhere in the big cities around the world. My question is have you been living in New York city? you can feel the difference between WDC and NYC.
Please remember that total population numbers and commuting pattern are part of components that should be taken into consideration before you make justification of you opinion.
In my point of view it's very hard to manage the city with so many informal sectors in it and so many population living in the city. But I give my respect to the local government that always try to manage good services to the citizen.
Previously I had had opinion like you but now I proud to be Indonesian. False paradigm is what you felt right now.
Prami Rachmiadi (not verified) — Mon, 01/12/2009 - 10:42am
As Jakarta Post reader, I am very disappointed with the fact that such writings were published. Please consider this as my personal critic in a high tone manner.
For the writers, I am very sorry that you are one of the example of how some Indonesian young generation are lost in translation. If you are Indonesian, and only, by leaving country for 2 years made you feel that you are a 'great apple to apple viewers' already? Well, get a grip my friend.
United States of America has their own issue also, it doesn't seem to exist in your eyes. But it shows how limited your knowledge in comparing the 2 countries.
In short, every country has their own issue. As positive young generation we MUST start the change ourselves. In 34 years of age, it happened that I am trying hard NOT to break the rules and agreed policy. Your shallow examples are never written in my agenda. I am trying hard NOT to do any rules breaking action [with all my positive consciousness].
And I strongly believe there are million Indonesian and also American has the same 'attitude' as myself.
I don't smoke, but it doesn't make me feel "sorry" about Indonesia who gets most of tax income from tobacco industry. Just like some American Politician who contributed most of global problems.
If we make a statement of A Country, simply because group of a people, who are not yet becoming part of positive change. Then we should feel very sorry about ourselves. Because that 'group of people' might not understand the true meaning of it [yet].
From 250 million Indonesia's population, I believe that we [the positive believers] will make change, and if young generation like yourself already gave up and make some comments ... It makes the change that we are aiming for - NOT performing in maximum speed! Hence, please grow up and try to be part of us!
Last but not least, it happens that I have some expat colleagues who found Indonesia as a great country, and they believe that our economic growth could be in parity with India in near future.
If you are Indonesian who doesn't like living in Indonesia, maybe you can trade places and citizenship. It's ok [for me] to loose Indonesian who already loose their faith in positive changes anyway...:)
Agus Satoto (not verified) — Sun, 01/11/2009 - 10:14pm
You are just one of those guys, who returned from an 'orderly' state called America, complaining that the land and country you have grown up with looks like a 'hell'. Here, many Indonesians say that America is hell! Moreover, a great number of Americans I ever met even admitted that their country was indeed a worldly hell, that's why they prefered to stay and live in Indonesia and dated and/or married Indonesian girls. And you know what? These Indonesian girls liked Americans better than their Sundanese or Javanese boys! Well, I am not writing to tell you what to do. I just want to welcome you back to your homeland, our beautiful country!
Susi Johnston (not verified) — Sun, 01/11/2009 - 9:14am
I find the author's defeatist attitude depressing and discouraging. Even more so the attitude of the author's friend.
Indonesia can be absolutely Indonesian without the bad habits described by the author, without disrespect for other people, and without the mental and spiritual laziness that leads to statements like "It's Indonesia and I can't complain."
You can complain, and you should. Complaining is just voicing an emotional response, and ideally would instead take the form of constructive criticism, and also action, teaching, sharing one's understanding.
The author was very fortunate to have the opportunity to enjoy education overseas, and could spread that good fortune by helping to improve attitudes, habits and the social environment in his home country. Jakarta does not have to become like Washington, DC, but it can certainly improve. Attitudes must improve first, then understanding, then habits.
Verlaine (not verified) — Sat, 01/10/2009 - 11:20pm
I have been living in the US for almost two years, and I don't understand why this writer consider it better than Jakarta. Most of the time I just like to smash my head in disbelief how life could be shallow and just too much materialism. And its also kind of boring to always follow the rule. I think the writer should just stop whining and grow up.
Andifitriani (not verified) — Sat, 01/10/2009 - 2:45pm
i agree with this opinion, i know our country is very different with the others...
i would like to live in other country like USA and japan..
Ben Johnson (not verified) — Sat, 01/10/2009 - 1:33pm
I am an American expat who moved to Indonesia nine years ago to get away from what I call "the American rat race". It is interesting to hear how the author learned to enjoy the structure and regulations of the United States. I feel just the opposite.
Having spent my whole life in America obeying every law and knowing that the police were hiding around ever corner made me feel like I had lost my freedom. America always talks about freedom and liberty, but in reality there are so many rules that people really have few freedoms.
Why should we stop completely at a stop sign when there are no cars in sight? A law has been put in place of human good judgment. Make no mistake, a policeman is waiting nearby to catch you if you don't stop at the stop sign.
In my opinion the Indonesian way means we have freedom to use good judgment. The American way says the laws, in all cases, overrules my own good judgment.