‘I get into trouble because I can’t say no’

Bruce Emond ,  The Jakarta Post - WEEKENDER   |  Thu, 03/19/2009 3:58 PM  |  20/20

Dewi Lestari professes that she is not the driven, serious overachiever that people think. “I’m just silly and lazy and that has brought me to where I am today, with some luck,” says the 33-year-old mother of one. Cynics may consider it disingenuous celebrity double-speak from a woman who wrote a groundbreaking novel (2001’s Supernova, under the pen name Dee) and also recorded last year’s surprise hit single “Malaikat Juga Tahu” (Angels Also Know), but friends attest that she is a sincere, generous and unique spirit. The Bandung-based former member of the all-girl group Rida-Sita-Dewi kept her cool during the media fray of her divorce last year and, now remarried, is continuing to make her own way in life.

Your mood right now?

Tough question! [laughs]. Between perky and happy, I don’t know what to call it. I just drank coffee – that gave me a buzz. I’m also into this game Trickbreaker in Blackberry, I was just playing it.

Your first memory?

My third birthday party. My mom called me. When I got to the living room, there were all my siblings and a birthday cake with candles.

If you hadn’t gone into music, what would you like to have been?

Maybe a florist or a chef in a Thai restaurant. I like to arrange flowers; there was a flower arranging competition in elementary school and I won it. I like to dry flowers and make cards from them. And I always liked cooking, but I don’t have time for it. I really like Thai food. It would have to be a Thai vegetarian restaurant.

Your best trait?

You really want to ask me this, because I can go on and on! [laughs] I have this inherent coolness, not aloofness, but the ability to keep my cool. It comes without much effort.

And worst?

My inability to say no and set boundaries. I’ve got myself into trouble so many times because of that.

Happiest moment of your life?

So many of them. That’s a tough question. My happy moments come in a format that’s so simple. Sometimes I feel deep happiness when I have just got into bed with my husband Reza and my son Kinan, who is between us. After a few minutes, Kinan will be kicking and moving around. But those first 10 seconds or so are so happy.

And saddest?

When my dog died. I wasn’t there for him. His name was Slinky and he was given to me by my sister. He was the smartest dog I ever met. I only had him for six months, but our bond was so close, he was like my guardian angel. I was on the train to Jakarta and my sister called to tell me he was run over. I started sobbing so hard.

Who or what has been your most important teacher?

Ourselves. Sometimes we neglect this teacher. But we keep seeking teachers outside us.

What is the craziest thing you’ve done?

I’ve done lots of crazy stuff. I think the first crazy thing – although I perceived it as adventure – was traveling alone. I did it when I was 17, and I didn’t tell my mom about it, because she wouldn’t have let me do it. I went to Bali and Lombok, which doesn’t sound like much now but it was my big crazy achievement at the time.

Favorite food?

Indonesian and Thai food. Sundanese food for Indonesian.

Who inspires you?

Not who, but what. Nature inspires me the most. Looking at the trees, the sky, the stars.

You told me once that you learned English from watching videos of The Muppet Show. Who was your favorite Muppet?

It changed from time to time. I just bought The Muppets DVD collection, and now it’s the two old guys in the balcony [Statler and Waldorf]. It used to be Robin, Kermit’s nephew.

Favorite place in the world?

Ubud.

You seem such a calm presence. What makes you angry?

A lot. Injustice and people who are judgmental. And fanaticism.

If you could solve one thing in the world today, what would it be?

I hope people could be more in touch with themselves, instead of being so external. The answers are within us, but we are so disconnected. Actually, we don’t need rules and regulations and laws – we know the answers within ourselves.

Any regrets?

I wish I had spent more time getting to know my mother; she died when I was in university. I was a very active child at the time, so I was doing so much outside of the house. Because of our type of upbringing, we didn’t share too many experiences.

Two dream dinner guests.

I like this question. Oprah and … Osho. He was a spiritual teacher, very controversial. In his explanations I found many gems. He would be very interesting.

What about Oprah and her yo-yo weight problems. Should she just be herself?

Yes. Just because you’re small doesn’t mean you’re healthy, and if you’re fat it doesn’t mean you’re unhealthy. It’s about having balance in life.

Things to do before you die?

See the whales. Because I have this thing about being reincarnated as a whale. So seeing one would help.

+ Bruce Emond
Illustration by Martin Dima

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