Stylebites: Are gay and fashion people bitchy by nature or through social demand?

Sun, 03/29/2009 3:29 PM  |  Lifestyle

One Sunday brunch, eight fashionistas having a catch up and gossip about each other's "whose doing who" lives and the latest must-have accessories. While some had their mouths occupied munching on food while their hands were busy playing with their Blackberries, like a group of cosmopolitan monkeys, the rest of us were having good time flexing our bitching muscles by engaging in witty banter. Although we do talk about politics and sports too sometimes, like which first lady wore the best evening gown at the presidential inauguration or what we think about David Beckham's latest hairstyle.

Somewhere between a confession from Lady K - a late 30s, rich widow of three ex-husbands, who admitted she cannot live without her collection of Dior sunglasses, and David's comment on how a middle-aged queen's extra-wrinkly skin across the room seemed enough to make a blanket for his cat, I flinched and wondered if this was what our world was all about? As a bunch of bitter people who needed to show off their luxurious assets and indirectly put others down to make ourselves feel better.

"Honey, that's what today's women do when they can't deal with the creature called man anymore, especially when you have enough savings from bitter divorces like me, the branded stuff really makes me feel good." Lady K said, before gulping on her champagne maliciously.

"Oh c'mon, leave men alone. Your excuse is totally irrelevant, you just happen to be one lucky girl - in divorce settlements that is. You only need those shades to look fashionable when your Botox schedule is way overdue and you need to cover up." attacked David.

"B***h!"

"Well, you can either be a rotweiller or a circus poodle in our society, darling." David shrugs and displayed a winning smile, followed by our giggles.

"Ha ha ha, that's so true! Even I hate to wear this plastic face all the time, sometimes I feel like I should wear gloves, as I never forget to sharpen my claws. But, that's the way it is if you want to survive as a supreme fashion goddess," Andre added.

I suddenly snapped, "Guys, are we about to bitch about everything and pick any random victim to incur the wrath of our attention? We don't seem to talk about real stuff any more."

Oops! What started off in the beginning as just my opinion soon evolved into sarcastic jokes - like a sport, or even a hobby, not meant for the thin-skinned, weak-hearted and linguistically challenged. We pride ourselves in coming up with inventive verbal insults which for us is good harmless fun, but to the greater public it may seem like we are all hateful people who take pride in putting others down.

I have to say that sometimes, the problem with this is once we get "the fun" started, we just don't know when to stop. We bitch and make fun of anyone regardless of age, gender, race, sexual orientation or physical appearance. In other words, we are like a bunch of equal opportunity fashion bitches. And this, I suspect, is why the words "gay", "fashion", and "bitchy" have become bedfellows. As much as I hate to admit it, I tend to agree some of the bitchiest people I know, happen to be gay, but I refuse to accept the argument that we are all bitchy by birth. So if it's not nature, what are the circumstances that give birth to such a personality trait in some of us?

We know we are ostracized by society at large just because of our lifestyle orientation. Many nonfashion and nongay people think they can never "outbitch" us. It's like something in our DNA that puts us at the top of the bitch food chain. So maybe that's why, instinctively, we develop this defense mechanism that attacks others before they get a chance to attack us. We bring them down before they can bring us down so we already feel better even before the battle starts.

As much as I enjoy engaging in a little bitchy t*te-*-t*te once in a while, I hate to see how much damage a bitchy comment can inflict. I'm not saying that I'll be Little Miss Sunshine overnight - it's not going to be 100 percent fun if the world is filled with polite and conservative people only anyway - but I think some of us should tone it down a little and think before we rave. Let's reserve our bitchiness for special occasions only.

If you don't like my suggestion, talk to the nails, grandma, *cause the hand ain't listening to you any more.

- Diaz

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