35 more things I just don’t understand

As I complete my third full year in the land of jamu and J.Co, I’d like to think I’ve learned a few things.

Like how to order a pizza by phone. Or be able to read the newspaper, call Mom in the US and memorize the words for a new karaoke song all at the same time while sitting in traffic.

But there remain some truly puzzling matters that have eluded my comprehension. So, as I did previously in October 2007, I ask for your help.

Please tolong and, if you can, provide some clues to 35 more things I just don’t understand:

1) Why most motorbike riders wear long-sleeved jackets under the broiling sun.

2) The “bigger is better” hairstyle philosophy among high society matrons.

3) Why nobody has thought of serving corned beef and cabbage on St. Patrick’s Day in March.

4) Why Garuda flight attendants were playing videogames in empty business class seats when I was trying to get their attention.

5) The incredible sensation of having the right credit card to get that 50 percent restaurant discount.

6) Why it takes four police officers to direct traffic at a busy intersection when it would take only one to do as much. Or as little.

7) Why the matter of compensation to homeless mudflow victims in Sidoarjo is still on this list.

8) How women in headscarves keep their cool in the daytime heat.

9) Taxi drivers who don’t have change for anything larger than Rp 10,000.

10) Why I have a thing for singers.

11) How co-workers can be two hours late for an appointment one day, then one hour early the next.

12) Why someone would order a “tuna pancake” sandwich.

13) Why a spouse or friend doesn’t tell a person how bad his toupee looks.

14) Why that person doesn’t do anything about it when he’s told.

15) The cashier’s assumption that I don’t want my Rp 100 or 200 coins in change.

16) Why so many older women are wearing braces on their teeth.

17) How many talented and unique musicians Indonesia has, such as country-western violinist Rifa of the Wagon Cowboys.

18) Why there isn’t more than one main road in and out of the club-and-pub district of Kemang, and why that road isn’t wider.

19) How exciting it is to see a star in the Jakarta night sky.

20) Why people say they’ll call you back and never do.

21) How, in the end, you eventually get to where you’re going even though it took an extra 90 minutes.

22) How I truly appreciate teaching and helping young people who listen more than they talk.

23) Why women carry purses that weigh more than a baby one-horned rhino.

24) Why boxing champ Chris John isn’t more of a national hero in a country starved for anything to cheer about.

25) Just where that “sushi girl” nightclub is that everyone says exists.

26) Why the government is allowing the national treasure Borobudur Temple to be worn down by poor maintenance and security.

27) Why there isn’t a sophisticated supper club that provides entertainment for the 40-to-65-year-old crowd.

28) How exquisitely beautiful an empty street can be.

29) The need for more than two cell phones. Or one, for that matter.

30) Why so many people simply don’t care.

31) How talented classically trained jazz pianist Nita Aartsen is, and why she isn’t touring Asia to display her passionate music.

32) How much I enjoy being with someone who doesn’t pick up her BlackBerry once during dinner.

33) How I can be putting for birdie one day, and then making double par the next.

34) How I can still get excited about a first kiss.

35) How much more I enjoy life in Indonesia despite this second list of things I just don’t understand.

Hawaii native Dalton Tanonaka is the co-anchor of Metro TV’s "Indonesia Now" program, seen on Saturday mornings at 7 a.m. and Sundays at 1 a.m. He can be reached at dalton@metrotvnews.com.

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