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My unhappy search for happiness ends in Jakarta
Sun, 06/28/2009 11:35 AM | Headlines
No one seems to know how to define happiness. It took a German philosopher Immanuel Kant - a writer known for his difficult prose - to come up with the lame definition that happiness is not derived from reason, but of imagination.
Russian literature giant Leo Tolstoy was apparently as confused as Kant when asked to define happiness. He only said that if we want to be happy, just be it.
My favorite French philosopher Albert Camus does not help me much either. I was quite unhappy when he said that we would never be happy if we continue to search for what happiness consists of and that we would never live if we were looking for the meaning of life. With such a definition, Camus comes off more as a self-help guru than a Nobel laureate.
The Beatles went as far as saying that happiness is a warm gun, a definition that I can easily associate with Americans (especially card-carrying members of the National Rifle Association) who apparently equate the pursuit of happiness with gun ownership.
Given the fact that there are no agreed upon definition of happiness, I was really upset when my wife read to me an excerpt from the book The Geography of Bliss: One Grump's Search for the Happiest Place is the World penned by Public Broadcasting Service (PBS) correspondent Eric Weiner, which said that Indonesia is an unhappy country populated by unhappy people.
I was ticked off after reading more - and I don't usually read self-help books -and found out that people in the Himalayan country of Bhutan are happier than most of us. In fact, the king of the tiny state has made Gross National Happiness a national priority.
We are even less happy than our ASEAN neighbor in the north, Thailand. In Thailand, Weiner said that people were happy because they are not thinking about happiness very much.
Thai people have the expression of mai pen lai that roughly translates as "don't think too much." Camus would certainly agree with this expression.
But that was when I was still living the pampered life of the American Midwest, when the homeland in the orient seemed more exotic than ever, when homesickness - and the craving for sate kambing and pecel - clouded my informed judgment about the unpleasant nature of a distant home.
Reality hit hard when I returned to Jakarta three weeks ago. I began to recalibrate my judgment on Weiner. Could it be that Weiner was right?
How can you find happiness in a place blanketed with an endless supply of airborne toxic material? How can there be happiness in a place where every downpour could lead to severe flooding? Is happiness possible in a place where the sky has become a landfill, where the airwaves are filled with endless political campaigns, over-the-top reality television shows, shrieking soap operas or just plain bad pop songs?
Or are we really happy when we are always envious of our neighbors' new Blackberry Curves, iPhones or the trendiest nightclubs to hang out. After all, the key to happiness is the lack of envy, as Weiner said of the people of the Arctic country of Iceland.
My former neighbors who lived in the Chicago suburbs of McMansion - with their manicured lawn and shaded patio - were likely happier than my current neighbors in the southern suburbs of Jakarta.
The blue-collar folks who constantly crave for the slimmest model flat-screen television at Wal-Mart may worship at the altar of materialism, but at least they could drive down a traffic-free road or jog freely on an obstacle-free sidewalk. Most people who are bundled up for subzero temperatures during the Minneapolis winter might live in misery but at least they can move about the city on an efficient public transport system.
But then again, happiness is an elusive concept. What if it turns out that happiness does not come from owning things or from living in an orderly environment.
What if happiness does not come from always following rules and you can just drive off when there is no car in sight at any given intersection? What if it turns out that the greatest virtue in modern life is slacking off at work or having the freedom to eat any roadside vendor's place without fussing too much about cleanliness?
Or may be those Thai people are right after all. May be I should stop thinking whether I am happy or not.
- M. Taufiqurrahman
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Bear (not verified), East Lansing — Thu, 07/30/2009 - 1:50am
Interesting article. One thing though, Beatles song, that line "happiness is a warm gun", actually a reference to shooting up heroine. Not gun ownership unfortunately.Helena van der Winder (not verified) — Sun, 07/05/2009 - 6:47pm
Oh my God....this writer makes me confused!!! I don't know what on earth he's talking about!!
There's a quote from a book that I recently read: "Happiness is a myth.....it was invented to make us buy things"
Whaden (not verified) — Sat, 07/04/2009 - 9:10pm
Here in Europe, Northern Skandinavian Swedish people says: "Real happiness is others missfortune"... A funny popular sentence, that might be right most of the time.
Pena Budaya (not verified) — Fri, 07/03/2009 - 9:34pm
According to the 2009 Smiling Report by the International Mystery Shopping Alliance (IMSA), Indonesia is ranked as the most smiling country, so, perhaps this smiling has nothing to do with being happy. Or is it an actual fact that an Indonesian hiding his/her misery/unhappiness with smile?
Anyway, in my humble opinion, happiness could come from simple things, and it is not necessary materialistic things or living in country with certain order like those in European countries. Seeing my dog greets me happily with his wagging tail when I return home from work is already make me happy. And, of course, good relationship with my partner, family, and friends have always made my days. It is easy, all you need to do just accept and love them just the way they are.
Westi (not verified) — Wed, 07/01/2009 - 11:09am
I think, happiness is related on self confidence and the way somebody loves himselves. so, whatever will be, just keep 'such a life'
Jingjo (not verified) — Wed, 07/01/2009 - 10:14am
If you must use a Thai expression a) romanise it correctly (mai pen rai) and b) get the meaning right. It does NOT translated roughly as 'don't think too much'. It translates literally as "it is nothing" and roughly as "no worries", "no big deal", "you're welcome".
Robert Wenger (not verified) — Wed, 07/01/2009 - 7:14am
I don't argue that Jakarta is very polluted and has many problems. But this writing sounds like it comes from a spoiled kid who has lived the comfortable life overseas thanks to his parents. To even complain about Americans who enjoy having guns after living so many years in US tells a lot about his manhood too :-)
And by the way, Jakarta is definitely not representative of the whole country. The writer needs to expand his horizon beyond just reading western literature with questionable sources.
Bobby Righteous (not verified) — Wed, 07/01/2009 - 4:57am
The grass is always greener. Jakarta is one of the most fascinating cities in the world, and its people are some of the friendliest. If the author has problems with celebrity nonsense culture and materialism then he ought to sample any city in the West where things are far, far worse. It may be an infuriating place to live at times but generally, if you are part of the privileged sector that even gets considered to write for the Post, you ought to be happy with your lot.
This article is obviously written by someone who hasn't had sex in a while. Leave Kant on the beside table, head down to Blok M, sink a couple of Bintangs and see what happens. Your troubles may evaporate quite rapidly.
Dr.Frank Bonkowski (not verified) — Mon, 06/29/2009 - 11:19pm
Thank you for your reflections on happiness. My colleague, Dr. Fred Horowitz, often quotes the “Tao Te Ching:”
"We begin life gently and yielding.
At death, we are rigid, inflexible.
The grasses that grow are green and supple.
In death they are withered and sere.
Therefore, the rigid and inflexible
Belong to death.
The gentle and yielding
Are filled with life."
Just bend a bit, blend with circumstances, and go with the flow. You just might be happy in the process. For more reflections on happiness and midlife coping strategies from a 3rd Age point of view, see http://www.happiness-after-midlife.com.
Wasted_words (not verified) — Mon, 06/29/2009 - 6:56am
Gosh, what a long-winded way to just say: if you want a lot, it takes a lot to make you happy. If you want little, it takes little to make you happy. It you want nothing, it takes nothing to make you happy (Dalai Lama).