It shows that you are gaining more importance in society. And boy, some of those messages were pretty poetic, weren't they? Who would have thought that what's-her-name in accounting and that sales guy who talks too loud had such a knack for religious poetry. Or did you assume that, like yourself, they just copied and pasted the beautifully written words from someone else who copied it from someone else who copied it from someone else?

It's so practical these days isn't it? Ctrl + C, Ctrl + V, hit *Send to All' and voila, all the wrongdoings you've ever done to everyone you know is forgiven. You're pure as a newborn. But oops you accidentally sent the message to your crazy ex whom you've sworn a lifetime grudge against. You never really wanted to apologize to her nor would you accept her apology, but her number was in your phone's address book and the message was automatically sent to her. Oh well, whatever.

Speaking of phones, have you changed your ring tone from Lady Gaga to a recorded Adzan? Have you subscribed to the Islamic content provided by your mobile phone provider? Religion is the new black this month, you know. All you have to do is type Reg space... oh I can't remember.

Don't worry, religion is advertised so much on television you cannot possibly miss it. Commercials promoting the holy month usually play side by side with the noodle ad starring your favorite actress. Instead of the girl wearing a mini dress and blowing you a kiss, there is instead a girl in a hijab wishing you a happy holy month. Still cute though. Makes that instant noodle she's endorsing looks even more appetizing. On your way home from work, don't forget to stop by the mall to buy that very brand of instant noodles, and those tantalizing sweets, those scrumptious hot foods, mouth watering es campur, oh heck they all look so yummy, why not buy everything.

After that, go up to the fashion section to get yourself a brand new Muslim outfit to wear to the taraweh prayers hosted by your boss and his family at their lovely home.

You don't want to miss it. His wife will prepare extravagant meals and invite orphans to the event. Yes, real orphans from a real orphanage. Of course you don't really need to socialize with the orphans - that's not what they're there for. Having them around just adds a kindhearted touch to the evening. Afterwards they'll be given gifts - candy, crayons, a new prayer matt. Then they will return to the orphanage and do whatever it is that orphans do. Throw firecrackers at cars, smoke cigarettes behind the mosque, things of that sort.

Now if you've done everything I listed above, allow me to congratulate you with a pat in the back, because that means you have truly celebrated Ramadan, Jakarta style.

Okay I'll stop with the sarcasm. I know it doesn't really go with the spirit of Ramadan. It's just that Jakarta is such a hard place to try to be spiritual and at peace even during the holy month. They say that throughout Ramadan, angels fly down from heaven to sanctify us. Demons are kept away from us and locked behind the gates of hell. But I guess hell has opened a franchise in Jakarta, because here demons seem to roam free just like any other day, including the cynical grumpy demon that lives in me.

But believe it or not, there was a time when I truly embraced Ramadan with an untainted spirit. You see, before I turned into the sharp-tongued, know-it-all that I am today, I was just an ordinary jolly little girl. And jolly little me once had a sweet little book called *Belajar Puasa' (Learning to Fast). It provided me with my first basic understanding of Ramadan and its essence. In simple words and adorable illustrations, the book explained why Muslims are obligated to fast during the month of Ramadan, taught the importance of giving and selflessness. But what I remembered most about the book was the list of things that we must refrain from during the holy month: "Aside from eating and drinking from sun up to sun down, we must not lie, cheat, fight, gossip or use foul language," read the book. Eager to practice my fasting to the fullest, I carried with me a list of all the things I could not do for the whole month, and I would check it every time I let slip a lie or spoke about a friend behind their back.

Reminiscing back on those times, I ask myself, what has changed? How come being spiritual was much easier when I was a child than it is now that I'm all grown up? Well, part of it was because the younger me didn't care about the way other people chose to practice their fasting rituals. The little me was too busy trying to get her own fasting right, and didn't have time to get dragged down every time she saw exploitation carried out in the name of the holy month.

Honestly, I really miss that feeling. And to feel that way again, the first step is to focus on my own spirituality, my own faith, and my own actions. I guess it's true that demons are locked away during the month of Ramadan. But it turns out that we are the ones holding the key. It's our own choices that determine whether they will remain locked up, or set fee.

*holy thank you to Reza for lending me the title for this piece

- Kartika Jahja

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