W

hen Foreign Minister Hassan Wirajuda and his visiting Malaysian counterpart Datuk Anifah Aman meet in Jakarta on Thursday, hopefully they will use the opportunity to discuss effective ways to educate their people - including government officials - on how to behave maturely as neighbors. The visit by Malaysia's minister, amid growing tension between the two countries, is a strong reflection of Kuala Lumpur's willingness to act as a responsible and mature neighbor when dealing with problems involving Indonesia.

There are always ups and downs in relations between the two countries. To be honest, we Indonesians often overreact and are oversensitive toward Malaysians. We easily accuse them of not showing us respect, without thinking why they behave like that. Perhaps we do not realize that we often act as a big brother toward our much smaller but much more prosperous younger sibling. We scream at them to inflict fear, but it is in vain. We often look childish, which actually reflects of lack of confidence and a feeling of inferiority.

We accuse them of stealing assets of our culture, but we choose to ignore that many of those complaints are unreasonable, because we pay little respect to our own cultural heritage. On the other hand, it is equally fair to say that Malaysia should share the blame. Malaysians needs to be more sensitive toward Indonesia. We Indonesians share their anger at the recent sweeping targeting Malaysian citizens in Jakarta and in some other cities. We deplore the reluctant attitude of the police to punish those who believe they can do anything in the name of patriotism.

Without realizing it, many Malaysians often look down on their neighbor because there are hundreds of thousands of Indonesians living within their borders illegally. But they need to realize that the presence of our migrant workers in Malaysia greatly contributes to their welfare.

It is possible that Malaysia and Indonesia are facing problems of maturity and responsibility.