Is biology a woman's destiny? This is a question that is so embedded in women's lives. It remains, wandering around, free-floating, and sometimes frustrating women, especially for those who are at a crossroads in their lives - when you have to choose between having a happy family or a high-flying career.
Does biology (childbearing and nurturing) determine the life of every woman?
This big question is represented in the form of other questions such as: Am I destined to have a family? Should I get married? Do I have to quit my job for my child?
Those questions keeps on boggling the mind of many women especially, I can say, most women in the region where the idea of feminism - Western-originated - mixes with traditional beliefs and wisdom. To put it simply, the mind of this majority is stuck between the mind of Luthfiana Ulfa - a 12-year-old girl who voluntarily married Syech Puji - and the mind of the thirtysomething feminist who writes for a "single-minded" life.
In my view, Ulfah is likely to answer "Yes", while the feminist is very likely to say "No". In the meantime, the majority of Indonesian women - especially those who are well-educated (with at least a bachelor's) - is likely to say "Well.ummmh". Very indecisive.
This question was first officially posed by Evelyn Reed (1971) - a scientist and feminist - who wrote a book entitled Is Biology Woman's Destiny?, the big question itself.
The book was specifically on the counter-arguments for the pseudo-scientific perspective of woman in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.
The book convinced us that "the uterus and woman's stupidity" and "the hunting theory and female inferiority" are myths, not science.
It also said in the book that females in nature suffered no such disabilities, unlike what had been believed at that time. This idea supported the feminist movement until they succeeded in placing women in strategic positions in government, politics, economy, and education in this 21st century.
Women are equal to men. Now, we can see many women becoming good politicians, brilliant scientists and great CEOs.
Not to mention, a few months ago Newsweek reported that women's leadership may be a very important factor in alleviating the financial crisis we are now facing.
But these facts do not help us much in answering the big question. The context of "biology" which was answered by Evelyn Reed is about scientific facts on women's natural capability.
It was about how women are equal to men. But it was not about the most important biological feature of women: childbearing and nurturing.
In my view, this question still remains hanging, and this suspended question allows the idea of feminism - which is based on women's natural capability - mixed with the local and traditional wisdoms, to lead to the indecisiveness of most women.
The question itself consists of two terms which are not simple; biology and destiny. The term biology is scientific. It consists of the factual attributions of women's bodies (their biological nature). Women have their own hormonal and reproductive system which is unique to them.
While the term destiny is philosophical and psychological. It relates to the freedom to make important life decisions, including the decision to get married at the age of 12 or 33.
Biology is determined by nature while destiny is determined by education and local wisdom.
Both terms come into conflict in the minds of most well-educated women in Indonesia. And this conflict often causes confusion. It must be great for those women who can have brilliant career outside their home and a warm and happy family inside.
Many career-mothers leave their infants with their babysitters or their grandmothers, leaving the babies without their assistance. The infants seldom see their mothers. This is not good for mother-infant bonding.
The indecisiveness pertaining to this question is not good for women's lives. So I am suggesting that every woman must make her decision before her mid 20s.
Now, I personally would answer "Yes" to this question. However intelligent a woman is, she cannot get away from her body. Even if she has achieved everything she wants in her life, she cannot stop her menstruation cycle.
The hormones in her body keep on circulating in her blood. And this dynamic hormonal system will shape her motherhood. Biology is her destiny. Women are equal to men in intellectual ability, but they are destined to do the childbearing and nurturing.
The author is a science writer.