It is not uncommon to hear a child say "I hate school" or "I don't feel like doing my homework".
Problem-sensitive parents can sense something is amiss, and are usually quick to find out what's really going on with their children at school.
A child's persistent refusal to attend class or do schoolwork could turn out to be one of the nightmares of any parent with a school-age child. It is therefore understandable that many parents get jittery at the first sign of trouble their children encounter at school.
The initial step parents often take to resolve a child's quandary at school is to meet with the child's teacher, begging for advice.
Yet, parents aren't often cognizant that the problems could derive from the person in front of the classroom - the teacher him/herself.
A parent whom I met several years ago complained that her first two sons had been exemplary students. Her third son was talented too, but he was also diagnosed with dyslexia.
Discovering that his teachers were holding him up to the standards his brothers had set, she went immediately to the teachers to have a friendly talk with them.
She explained that her third son was different from her older sons and had special needs. The talk eventually bore fruit and the problem was solved before it got worse.
In many cases it is often found that a child's learning problems are the result of conflict with the teacher.
A teacher's unrealistic expectations are one of the major sources many parents say contributes to their kid's learning difficulties.
Teachers often unwittingly behave as strict disciplinarians who belittle those who do not measure up to their standards. It is possible that underachievers become targets of ridicule on the part of the teachers.
As a consequence of this, they gradually develop a sense of hatred toward learning, and even toward the teachers.
If there does seem to be conflict between your child and a teacher, the first step to take is to have a friendly talk to the teacher. This kind of personal approach is strongly recommended by education experts for its effectiveness in dealing with learning problems.
If you can't resolve the problem with the teacher, it's time to ponder other options. Meeting with the school counselor is another possible recommended suggestion.
A counselor can offer advice and pave the way for a talk with school administrators. It's time to talk to the principal.
However, if you don't feel content or get satisfaction here, the last resort would be to plan a visit to the school administration and even the superintendent.
Before going this far, developing rapport with class teachers to seek the best way to deal with a child's problems is often considered sufficient.
In fact, there are plenty of merits parents can get by doing so. They can, for example, ensure good treatment for their child.
In addition, they can keep in touch with other parents who can assist them in discovering how best to deal with the school and in identifying the teachers who will be the best match for the child.
Getting involved at the school has been proven effective in finding out how a child behaves in school. A willful and obstinate child at home might be cooperative in class, and a quiet and cooperative child at home might be the class troublemaker. Not until parents check out the scene are they unable to identify who their kids really are.
Though such a personal approach offers benefits, some caveats, however, need to be kept in mind. Never be confrontational when an agreement can't be reached.
A child's learning problems can be a sensitive and emotional issue, but discussing it with a clear head and calm voice prevents a bitter confrontation between parents and the class teachers.
Parents also need to be aware that the conflict is between their child and the teacher, not between them and the teacher.
It seems more judicious for parents to focus on the child's problems than to blame the teacher. Listening to the teachers' version is highly recommended before drawing a conclusion.
Moreover, asking for specifics is far better than being defensive. If the teacher claims that your kid has problems with homework, classroom behavior or social interaction with his peers, ask guidance on how to help him.
Education experts and psychologist agree that supervising a child's education is a demanding challenge. They also concur that parents' intervention is necessary to help monitor how the child navigates his long academic journey.
The writer teaches English to young learners, and can be reached at: evariestj.@yahoo.com.
