Nurulita, 39, said she was always grateful to have a caring mother.
Her mother, she said, always knew what to say when she was not sure of herself.
“She always told me ‘You must get a higher education. Women should reach high positions and dreams’,” said Nurulita in an event to commemorate the Mother’s Day which falls on Dec. 22.
Working as a manager in a multinational company now, she wishes she could do the same for her twin daughters.
But she can’t find enough time for her girls because her family “needed to earn more money to raise [their] children.”
Nurulita said she was lucky to have an understanding husband who supports her and her career.
She discussed the situation with her husband and they decided to hire a baby sitter.
Nurulita only stayed with the babies briefly after their delivery, setting back to work as soon as possible.
Juggling between work and home has become just a part of life for many women in the city.
Having an additional income to help with the high costs of living in Jakarta is the main reason women work.
Istari, a mother of three, said women should have their own income to avoid dependency on their husbands.
“I have met many women without incomes who lost their husbands and were unable to support themselves and their children.
“My own mother was unable to support her seven children when my father died. We were helped by our relatives,” Istari said.
Istari said that her husband understood and supported her choice to work.
“I married him because he has always supported my work,” said Istari.
However, many husbands do not allow their wives to work.
Eko Bambang Subiantoro, a women’s rights activist, said husbands should support their wives if they want to pursue a career, and even take over some of the household jobs.
“Men and women should share work around the house. Man are mostly perceived as breadwinners and women as homemakers. But I think that way of thinking is useless,” he said.
“Men always say they honor their mothers. If they truly do, they must also honor and respect their wives’ choices. This is what the women’s rights activists have talked about [since] before independence. Remember that Mother’s Day dates back from this women rights struggle,” he said.
The history of Woman’s Day, or in Indonesia, Mother’s Day, dates back to 1928 when a group of pioneering women gathered together to hold “The First Congress of Indonesian Women” in Yogyakarta from Dec. 22 to 25.
Heads of women’s organizations came together at the 1928 Congress to support the independence movement and to generally improve the position of women in society.
The day was later overshadowed by the New Order regime that named the day as Mother’s Day.
Women’s rights activists have criticized the policy as an effort to domesticate the role of women in the country. Since the lasting tenure of the New Order, however, society has grown accustomed to calling the day Mother’s Day. (mrs)
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