Feb. 23, p. 17
Is it true Indonesians are courteous and respect etiquette when in public? A friend of mine shared her story of riding in a public minivan to her office one morning. As usual, the driver thought he was in a Formula One race, careening through heavy traffic.
At one stop, a man climbed on and promptly squeezed himself into the already packed minivan. A minute later, he lit up a cigarette. Eyes half-closed, he then blew smoke straight into everyone else’s face. Most of the passengers that morning were young women going to work, including my friend.
These young ladies had, of course, spritzed on their finest perfume before leaving home, only to have it drowned in the stench of tobacco. None of the passengers complained, but their frowning faces said it all.
The man kept puffing away. Finally my friend ran out of patience. “Pak, could you put out your cigarette, please?”
The man looked a bit surprised, smirked, then replied: “Why?” “Because this is a public minivan, Pak,” my friend answered. “Oh, yeah? You’re right, mbak, this is public, so if you don’t want to smoke, get your own car,” he replied, still blowing smoke. (By Titus Jonathan)
Your comments:
I think the problem is that people have a “whatever” mindset. Maybe they are just being stubborn when it comes to being courteous
Cinz
Jakarta
It’s a sad reflection of our modern ultra-competitive lawless world of money, intimidation, inflated ego, and me, me, me. Shame on us! We need to show a better example to the young generation.
This is all about having consideration for others around us which, by the way, is not a form of weakness. In fact, it makes life a lot more rewarding. Spread a smile instead of a snarl.
Andrew
Tangerang, Banten
In Japan, men do not smoke in packed commuter vehicles and blow smoke at young women, they grope them, a national pastime it seems. Because they can pretend it was not them, they get away with it. Japanese men often brag to their friends about how many young women they have managed to grope that week.
Katanas
Tokyo
I do not agree in stereotyping all Indonesians in this way. Yes, there are the rude and the ignorant. They are present in every country. Some of the best times I’ve had are as a guest of simple yet gracious and generous hosts in the far-flung provinces.
Karim
Lombok, West Nusa Tenggara
I totally agree with this article. I would just like to add another question: Is saying sorry really not a part of the Indonesian culture? I’ve had a lot of experience with people bumping me or stepping on my foot in malls, on the roads, etc.
They didn’t seem to care if
they hit somebody at all. They
didn’t even give a backward glance. Where I am from, we would always apologize even for a very simple mistake.
Maybe that is why it is so difficult for teachers to teach children to say sorry in school. Maybe nobody expects them to do so at home. I am not saying that this goes for all Indonesians ... I’m just sharing what I have experienced in my four-year stay here.
Jeanie
Jakarta
The problem is a lack of education. One day, I was in a bus traveling from Bandung to Jakarta. There were some inconsiderate men smoking, while they must have noticed that there were young children and babies on the bus.
Indonesian smokers are the most insensitive smokers I’ve ever known. Another bad habit is staring. Looking is fine, but staring is rude. Indonesians need to learn a lot from their neighboring countries like Singapore, Malaysia and Japan in terms of public etiquette.
Helena van der Winden
Jakarta
For Indonesians, saying “sorry” is quite a habit, but feeling sorry for a disruption of public order is something else.
Such a problem in (urban) Indonesia is unavoidable since there two classes of people meet: the educated and the uneducated, both now intermingling, while during colonial rule they were strictly separated.
The process of integration is unbelievably slow. One (hidden) character of Indonesians is “afraid of leaving their comfort zone”.
Djaka
Yogyakarta
Quote: “I think it’s about the morals that we believe in. That’s probably something most Indonesians don’t have.” Personal respect for the feelings of another human being is greatly lacking, and it is a tragic shame.
Andy
Jakarta
