“Children will always be children” is an expression heard from time to time anywhere in the world, including Indonesia. In general, children are treated as second-class citizens due to their relative minor capacity and capability when compared to adults.
For over two decades children’s right to participation has been promoted, however, adult recognition of children remains at a minimum.
On Nov. 20, 1989, world leaders decided that children needed a special convention just for them because people under the age of 18 often need special care and protection that adults do not require.
The leaders also wanted to make sure the world recognized that children have human rights too.
The Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC) has 54 articles and two optional protocols that basically lay out the rights children everywhere should have: the right to survival; to develop to the fullest; to protection from harmful influences, abuse and exploitation; and to participate fully in family, cultural and social life. There are four core principles of the CRC: non-discrimination; prioritizing the best interests of the child; the right to life, survival and development; and respect for the views of the child.
The CRC does recognize children’s’ right to participate, and encourages respect for their views, thoughts and ideas on the same level as adults, as stipulated in Article 12 of the UNCRC.
Having ratified the CRC, Indonesia bears the obligation to support children’s participation, but the age barrier seems to keep children from reaching their full potential, as is what normally happens in a society where traditional values prevail.
Children participate in society in their own way. For example, a crying infant is an example of a child’s participation due to his or her inability to articulate opinions. It is quite clear that children are always participating in society, and it is the adults who have to change their behavior to better accommodate them, rather than the other way round.
Does Indonesia acknowledge children’s participation? There has been a specific law that guarantees children’s rights to be heard and taken seriously in the formulation of policies that affect their well-being.
However, in emergency situations children’s opinions are mostly neglected and abandoned as adults assume they know best about what children need, such as shelter, schooling and so on. In big cities, child labor figures have jumped over time as children are “obliged” to help their parents, and at the same time many children are forced to be active in many clubs and activities where some would prefer to simply enjoy their childhood.
It is common in Eastern countries for parents to have more power and control over their children, not just from birth through the age of 18, but sometimes older than that, as long as the children are still single and live under the same roof. Children may feel restricted, even in their most private environment, and this will adversely impact their interaction with others.
Therefore, communication and mutual trust should be the basis of any parent-child relationship. A major-minor approach marked by intense instruction, rules and punishments will only jeopardize the family relationship.
In Indonesia, children are expected to listen to their parents all the time in all matters that affect their life. At certain ages they are involved in family discussions, yet parents remain the major decision makers and ignore their children’s right to participate in accordance with the CRC.
To promote children’s participation in Indonesia, there are four aspects of our daily life that need to be improved.
First, changing mindsets. The old saying “Surga di bawah telapak kaki ibu” (heaven lies under mother’s feet) has been passed down from generation to generation to uphold respect for our mother/parents. This has good implications, wherein children obey their parents, but on the other hand, it creates fear and discourages children from expressing their views.
Second is maturity and age. All children can participate as long as they have the ability to express their opinions in their own way. Child development should be synchronized with proper parental guidance and supervision to help children control their emotions and share their knowledge and experiences.
Third is political incorrectness. In many occasions children are exploited by adults to achieve the adult’s own interests or goals. For example, many political parties involve children during election rallies. Indeed, children do need political education, but letting our children join a group of adults in a street rally with minimum supervision is not recommended. Nowadays there are many student councils or children’s forums where children can learn to express themselves and advocate their concerns in healthy ways.
Lastly is economy (saving). There was a time when we held our piggy banks at night and figured out what we would buy with the money the following day. As adults we are responsible for household management and expenses.
Children’s participation also means empowerment and trust, and they can also be involved in the household management. As a start, children can participate and be responsible at the same time for saving energy, organizing Internet use or helping their mother prepare monthly budgets for their household facilities and daily needs.
In conclusion, parents need to listen to their children and let their children make decisions. Children’s participation can lead to better decision-making, because children know what they need and what they want. Children need to be responsible for what they do and this learning process will help them develop their skills and manner of thinking.
Involving children will boost their pride, and we can expect them to become role models for their peers in dealing with social problems in the future.
The writer, graduate of GSID Nagoya University Japan, is a program coordinator in Terre des Hommes Netherlands.
