Online dating: A man browses an online dating website on his computer. Many people find it easy to look for a soulmate through social media like Facebook. JP/Nurhayati
It turned out that even in a heavily populated and modern city like Jakarta, finding love was still very difficult for a single woman like Maia Sudiro (not her real name).
After finding only fatigue while searching for boyfriends through real life acquaintances, Maia, like millions of others, turned to social media and found a handsome naval academy cadet.
“I scoured through all his Facebook photos and found that he looked cute in his naval uniform, just like the man I always dreamed of ever since I was a child,” the 27-year-old recently told The Jakarta Post.
“So I asked him to be my friend, and he soon approved my friend request.”
A week later, the two went on their first date, eating out and going to a movie. “After a month, he became my boyfriend,” she said, reminiscing the one-year-old fling.
Her Internet-generated love story, however, did not end like a fairy tale. Maia, formerly a marketing executive, later discovered the tall handsome cadet had only taken advantage of her.
“I spent a lot of money when we went out on dates, and I think he only wanted to have fun with me,” she said.
After a bitter break-up, Maia said she was through with online romance. “I am so over looking for boyfriends on Facebook. We will never know them in real life,” she said.
The popularity of social media such as Facebook has made it possible for people to look for romance given the possibility of getting to know people from their photos and short bios uploaded on the site.
Research firm InsideFacebook reported that the number of Facebook users in Indonesia jumped from 25.7 million in June 2010 to 29.4 million in September, meaning the country has the second-highest number of users after the United States.
Most Facebook users in Indonesia are young people, a demography that is susceptible to online crime.
Recently, a 14-year-old high school student in Tangerang and a 23-year-old college student in Bandung, West Java, went missing after making friends with strangers on Facebook.
The high school student was found by her family after being molested by her abductor, while the college student returned home psychologically traumatized.
Internet-induced crime, however, did not dissuade 23-year-old college student Shinta Asri from resorting to online match making.
“The last person I had a relationship with on Facebook said he lived close to me. I checked his claim and it was true. I spoke with his mother to confirm it,” she said.
Living in such close quarters is not the reason Shinta fell for Mubarok — it was his Islamic education. “He was studying in Cairo, Egypt, and at that time I had just started wearing a head scarf, so I think everything fell right into place,” she said.
The two became an online couple four months after their Facebook friendship began.
In January 2009, Sinta and Mubarok put “in a relationship” on their “relationship status” on Facebook.
“He told me that he would be back to Jakarta this year, but then he told me he wanted to continue
his grad school. So, I don’t know when he will come back,” she said. Even though they have never met face to face, she still maintains high hopes that Mubarok might be the one.
For some, it was the now-moribund Friendster that helped them find love. Syari Fanny, a 24-year-old writer, met her current boyfriend in late 2007, but it took her almost a year to get to know him in person.
“I had never met him before. A friend of a friend pointed me to him and we started to communicate through the website. It was not that intensive in the early period,” she said.
Learning from her experience, Fanny concluded it was perfectly fine to find your match online. “The trick is you should know the person in real life before making any serious moves.” (map)
