Letter: Theory of my decision to be single

A: Hey, are you single?

B: Yes, I am. What’s wrong?

A: How long have you been single?

B: Up until my current age

A: Wow. How old are you?

B: 19. Well, seems like you are interrogating me ...

A: I am just wondering how you can be so alone and it seems like you’re OK for someone who is single with no boyfriend all the time. Why don’t you find yourself a man?

B: Let me tell you my calculations on romance using economics:

According to economics, cost is not only about money. Well, this is a little bit different to how accountants think. Time, energy, and mind can be costs that somebody has to spend in order to reach their goals. Any costs are tools for investment, and can be enjoyed in the future.

As people want to make high profit in the future, they must invest something into their business.

Don’t you think this is more or less the same as how relationships go?

Dating someone seriously means you hope to be with them in the future as a married couple.

When marriage is your aim, dating will help you to learn about each other better.

You give all your love; spend your time, share feelings, energy, mind and maybe money on your partner.

Marriage is the answer to all the efforts you make while dating, meaning your investment is successful. Another end to dating is to break up.

In economics, a break up is called a sunk cost. Your investment throughout the dating period would mean nothing. Investors avoid their sunk costs because these are an efficient way to reach goals.

Research at one of the most famous universities in the US found that the maximum time for dating before marriage is four years. Why? Because after four years the feeling of pure love decreases and more physical contact is required to maintain the relationship.

Some people argue that they are OK to have relationship for more than four years. Of course, we can’t generalize as though this research finding applies to everyone. But, research can be a warning for us to make a plan and anticipate any probability.

Based on the applied theories above, I did my own calculations about dating.

I’m planning to get married at 27. According to research I’ve told you about before, the maximum time you need to date someone (the safe way) before marriage is four years, which means when I’m 23.

Considering that my current age is 19, it is too early for me to start dating and preparing for marriage. If I don’t succeed in one date, it means my investment would have failed and all my costs become sunk costs.

Well, actually it’s about your choice whether you want be dating for a long time before marriage. Here is an insight from an economic perspective.

Who knows, some of you may think that having more experience will be better for you future or vice versa.

Tika Anggara
This article was originally posted in IMO