By the way ... Best of luck: The good fortune of feeling fortunate

Every New Year, we think of our resolutions for the year ahead. A friend of mine wants a new motorbike, and another hopes to get married.

I used to do the same thing, wishing for this and that. But not anymore.

At the top of my list of resolutions this year, I wrote, “I wish my husband and I can grow old together so we can watch our kids grow up.”

By this time, many of our resolutions — to go on a diet, or to refrain from gossip — may have been quietly forgotten. But I tell myself that I won’t change this particular New Year’s resolution for the rest of my life.

And this is why.

After celebrating Christmas Eve with my big family in Surakarta, Central Java, my husband and I began the drive back to Jakarta on Christmas Day. We were not even halfway home when my son texted me: “Mom, adek [little sister] fell into the well.”

That short message was like a giant sledgehammer banging on my head.

I frantically called my mom, who assured panicky me that my 8-year-old daughter was fine. My mom explained that my daughter was playing with her cousin when she slipped and fell into the well.

“Untung [fortunately], your daughter could hold onto the rope,” my mother explained.

“Untung, our gardener was there and was able to catch her and pull her up.”

Maybe it’s a Javanese custom of finding the good in any situation, including an accident that caused some fright, but no lasting harm.

However, despite being grateful that nothing happened to my daughter, I still have the “what-if” considerations playing in my mind.

What if there was no adult there when it happened? What if she had actually plunged into the well? The thoughts scare me because I couldn’t imagine the pain and grief of losing my children.

My best friend asked me, why do your children always get involved in such incidents when they are in the fourth grade? She had a point.

In 2007, my son, then in the fourth grade, fell from the second floor of his school building while playing with friends before class. Fortunately (again), he didn’t sustain any serious injuries but only grazed his right arm.

My friend’s question prompted another thought: Why my children?

Then again, why not them?

Accidents can happen anytime to anyone. It could be my children or yours. Life can change in the blink of an eye.

No matter how protective we are of our children, we cannot be there for them every minute of the day, and nor would we want to if we want them to grow up to become independent adults. There’s always the chance of them being involved in an accident, and only fate decides the outcome.

A few days later, I called my mother-in-law, who was organizing a selamatan (a Javanese ceremony to give thanks) at her home.

“Your daughter just survived a scary accident. Shouldn’t we thank God for protecting her?” she said. “Your family is fortunate, so don’t forget to count your blessings.”

And so I did, and I will continue to do so in keeping to my resolution. Thankfully, good fortune was on my side.

— Primastuti Handayani