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And they called it modern love
Modern love: Lunch Actually focuses on lunch instead of dinner, as nobody misses lunch, for its blind dates
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Modern love: Lunch Actually focuses on lunch instead of dinner, as nobody misses lunch, for its blind dates.(Courtesy of Lunch Actually)" border="0" height="184" width="512">Modern love: Lunch Actually focuses on lunch instead of dinner, as nobody misses lunch, for its blind dates.(Courtesy of Lunch Actually)Love now has a science to it. In modernity, the word ââcompatibilityââ substitutes for ââsoulmateââ.
Fitting love into a busy schedule tops being swept off oneâs fated feet, but outside the lucrative artificial scenarios of the dating cloud, there is still magic left in the mechanics of love, as Violet Lim, co-founder of dating agency Lunch Actually, explained.
âWeâve arranged tens of thousands of dates and the guys often say that it didnât work because âthey have no chemistryâ. And we figured out that âno chemistryâ means heâs not physically attracted to her,â said Lim.
âWomen hear this and say men are so shallow, but women are shallow in their own ways as well. Psychologically, women feel they are very picky and, therefore, not sure that they can find men who can fit their standards.â
Lunch Actually was started in Singapore in 2004 by Violet Lim with her husband Jamie Lee, whom she met while studying law at the University of Manchester.
The idea of Lunch Actually came out of Limâs professional experience when working in a bankâs higher echelons. At that time, those around her rushed into the independent world of their chosen career without having found âthe oneâ in university and they realized they now had no time to pursue love once they did.
âI ask people this: Do you want to be âromanticâ and be single for the rest of your life, or be a so-called unromantic, but finally find the love of your life? I think the choice is quite obvious. Hollywood scenarios are the exception, not the norm,â said Lim.
Celebrating a year of its presence in Jakarta and being the biggest dating agency in Southeast Asia â with branches in Singapore, Bangkok, Kuala Lumpur and Hong Kong â the process of love has become a US$5 million revenue-making business.
The business model adopts a process that Lim is confident will ultimately fulfill her dream of leading to 1 million happily wedded couples through the service.
âNobody misses lunch. Itâs part of the working day and it makes the experience not drag on any longer than it would have to. With dinner there are appetizers, drinks, the main meal, after-drinks [...],â Lim says.
Violet Lim - Courtesy of Lunch Actually
Lunch Actuallyâs data shows Jakartans are more alert about stability and income when deciding on love, over, for example, Singaporeans who revere confidence and a sense of humor. Jakarta has a despairing 43 percent of single woman who express doubt about ever really finding Mr. Right, whilst 39 percent of men tremble with anxious longing.
But donât despair, as evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins has found out: âWe are machines built by DNA whose purpose is to make more copies of the same DNA.â Love is in the air.
Even one of the most prominent and declarative novelists from France, Michel Houellebcq, on speculating whether love exists in the present day, can only vouch: âThatâs the question of the moment.â
What Love Actually is seeing are that trends precede people and people in love wonât always âget realisticâ outside the perfect fantasy, which they envisioned with the help of media depictions.
For busy, career-orientated people living in a developing, highly populated country to make one step in the direction of love, particularly if it fits into their schedules, it is a move that makes love at least aware of itself.
âTake this as just another platform. You shouldnât stop everything else youâre doing in the name of love. This starts something. At another time you can be so focused on your career, so you donât think about desiring. With this, suddenly the vibes are different,â Lim says.
Limâs soon-to-be-launched book, Lessons from 15,000 First Dates, and the introduction of partnering services eSynchrony and LunchClick into Indonesia, put Lunch Actually into the mechanics of modern love.
Simon and Sharon, a couple who found very real love on Lunch Actually, are true believers because: âThey took the time to fully understand our needs and what we look for, based on our characteristics. We fell in love almost immediately.â
A date is set up by the Lunch Actually consultants known as âcupids and transformersâ. The consultations focus on values, past relationships and identifying compatibilities, but the date itself is a blind date, in the old fashioned sense.
The one-on-one meeting at the selected restaurant is perfect, Lim believes, for a quick boycott if by chance, the chemistryâs not there. Itâs as easy as, âI have a meeting to attendâ, âa magazine to closeâ or âa tower to engineerâ to end the date on a sense of professional equilibrium and provide feedback for further consultation.
âThere are many people out there. Itâs dependent on factors. How ready are you?â Lim says.
âIdeally, we all hope that when we find the one, itâs true serendipity. We see ourselves sitting next to someone on the plane and talking and falling in love even before, maybe, take off? Everybody dreams.â
Modern love: <)
Modern love: Lunch Actually focuses on lunch instead of dinner, as nobody misses lunch, for its blind dates.(Courtesy of Lunch Actually)
Love now has a science to it. In modernity, the word ''compatibility'' substitutes for ''soulmate''.
Fitting love into a busy schedule tops being swept off one's fated feet, but outside the lucrative artificial scenarios of the dating cloud, there is still magic left in the mechanics of love, as Violet Lim, co-founder of dating agency Lunch Actually, explained.
'We've arranged tens of thousands of dates and the guys often say that it didn't work because 'they have no chemistry'. And we figured out that 'no chemistry' means he's not physically attracted to her,' said Lim.
'Women hear this and say men are so shallow, but women are shallow in their own ways as well. Psychologically, women feel they are very picky and, therefore, not sure that they can find men who can fit their standards.'
Lunch Actually was started in Singapore in 2004 by Violet Lim with her husband Jamie Lee, whom she met while studying law at the University of Manchester.
The idea of Lunch Actually came out of Lim's professional experience when working in a bank's higher echelons. At that time, those around her rushed into the independent world of their chosen career without having found 'the one' in university and they realized they now had no time to pursue love once they did.
'I ask people this: Do you want to be 'romantic' and be single for the rest of your life, or be a so-called unromantic, but finally find the love of your life? I think the choice is quite obvious. Hollywood scenarios are the exception, not the norm,' said Lim.
Celebrating a year of its presence in Jakarta and being the biggest dating agency in Southeast Asia ' with branches in Singapore, Bangkok, Kuala Lumpur and Hong Kong ' the process of love has become a US$5 million revenue-making business.
The business model adopts a process that Lim is confident will ultimately fulfill her dream of leading to 1 million happily wedded couples through the service.
'Nobody misses lunch. It's part of the working day and it makes the experience not drag on any longer than it would have to. With dinner there are appetizers, drinks, the main meal, after-drinks [...],' Lim says.
Lunch Actually's data shows Jakartans are more alert about stability and income when deciding on love, over, for example, Singaporeans who revere confidence and a sense of humor. Jakarta has a despairing 43 percent of single woman who express doubt about ever really finding Mr. Right, whilst 39 percent of men tremble with anxious longing.
But don't despair, as evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins has found out: 'We are machines built by DNA whose purpose is to make more copies of the same DNA.' Love is in the air.
Even one of the most prominent and declarative novelists from France, Michel Houellebcq, on speculating whether love exists in the present day, can only vouch: 'That's the question of the moment.'
What Love Actually is seeing are that trends precede people and people in love won't always 'get realistic' outside the perfect fantasy, which they envisioned with the help of media depictions.
For busy, career-orientated people living in a developing, highly populated country to make one step in the direction of love, particularly if it fits into their schedules, it is a move that makes love at least aware of itself.
'Take this as just another platform. You shouldn't stop everything else you're doing in the name of love. This starts something. At another time you can be so focused on your career, so you don't think about desiring. With this, suddenly the vibes are different,' Lim says.
Lim's soon-to-be-launched book, Lessons from 15,000 First Dates, and the introduction of partnering services eSynchrony and LunchClick into Indonesia, put Lunch Actually into the mechanics of modern love.
Simon and Sharon, a couple who found very real love on Lunch Actually, are true believers because: 'They took the time to fully understand our needs and what we look for, based on our characteristics. We fell in love almost immediately.'
A date is set up by the Lunch Actually consultants known as 'cupids and transformers'. The consultations focus on values, past relationships and identifying compatibilities, but the date itself is a blind date, in the old fashioned sense.
The one-on-one meeting at the selected restaurant is perfect, Lim believes, for a quick boycott if by chance, the chemistry's not there. It's as easy as, 'I have a meeting to attend', 'a magazine to close' or 'a tower to engineer' to end the date on a sense of professional equilibrium and provide feedback for further consultation.
'There are many people out there. It's dependent on factors. How ready are you?' Lim says.
'Ideally, we all hope that when we find the one, it's true serendipity. We see ourselves sitting next to someone on the plane and talking and falling in love even before, maybe, take off? Everybody dreams.'
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' The writer is an intern at The Jakarta Post
