E

ight people, mostly over 65 years old, sit at table playing cards.

Rukma, 72, wants to win so badly she's losing points. She winks at Dayal, 80, who is about to win the game with one card left to match. Distracted by Rukma's wink, Dayal instead throws down the wrong card with a shaking hand. Rukma quickly picks the card up and wins the game.

Scenes like this were an almost everyday occurence at my mother-in-law's house until she was 92 years old. She drew together eight elderly people who needed to pass their time so they weren't a nuisance to their children.

To bring a spark to their card games, they had nicknames in Indian for each other. The one who was dark skinned was called shidi, the one who liked to drink was nasha (drunkard) and the one slightly cross-eyed was terri (cross-eyed).

While visiting my mother-in-law, I talked to her friends and they wouldn't let go of me. Whenever I told them I had to leave, they would insist I sit longer.

For me, the elderly are the wisest people in the world. They don't have a master's degree or PhD in history, but they are historians due to their life experiences.

They have witnessed the elections and downfalls of many presidents. Some of them have seen two world wars. They are also the greatest environmentalists, as they do not waste or throw away food unnecessarily. They are penny-worth so they make sure they recycle.

They've seen so much of life that they leave things to fate. Their wrinkles say it all -- the more they have the more history they have witnessed.

Observing how my mother-in-law lived, I now realize how lucky she was. When I went on a train ride from Cirebon to Jakarta, I saw an old lady selling mangoes. I took a picture of her and she showed her age on her identification card. She was 85 years old and was trying to support herself so she could pay for her food and lodgings. Her children had refused to provide for her.

I experienced a similar thing in Cebu city when I visited a church. A 90-year-old lady was selling candles as her children could not provide for her.

When I was transiting through an airport in Asia, the janitor was an old lady who patiently waited until I finished washing my hands. When I went to the food court, the man who cleared my plate was old enough to be my father.

In some countries, senior citizens are revered. They are given a senior citizens' card where they can watch movies for free and get discounts on food and medicines. In some Western countries, the elderly are given money through a pension fund.

For those senior citizens who can afford it, growing old is a blessing, but what about the lower-class ones who cannot provide for themselves?

Indonesia has a long way to go before it realizes that 'old is gold'. Our homes for the elderly prove that impoverished senior citizens here are valued little.

Most of these homes rely heavily on donations because they are not on the 'must fix' agenda of the government.

Despite this lack of attention, the old continue to love their children unconditionally. Most of them try their level best to leave something behind for their family to remember them by.

My mother-in-law passed away almost two years ago and when my daughter turned 17 this year, she received a gift from her grandmother.

For a split second, I envied my daughter. Then I realized, even if my mother-in-law didn't leave a physical memoir for me, she'd endowed me with a gift that would remain with me forever.

The best gift an elderly loved one can give you is their good words, which can be a lifetime amulet. Two months before she passed away, while resting on her bed, she touched my head and said: 'I bless you that your children will love you and look after you, like you have allowed my son to do with me'.

' Aruna Harjani