She started her career as a journalist when she was 21. Upon discovering that there were so many people in the field who seemed to do the job much better than her and received many more accolades from her seniors, she then became envious and stopped her journalistic endeavors altogether.

She then began trying her hand at writing literary works, befriending several writers, but when some of her former compadres started gaining fame for their works, having their works translated into English and receiving international accolades, she started backing away from these people as well because they started to make her feel inferior.

She is also allergic to criticism; when people criticize her work, she gets insulted, offended and reacts defensively to the criticism instead of discerning the kernel of truth for that criticism to help herself become better at what she does.

Now, Grace feels like an underachiever; she feels she has never attained anything meaningful in life. Thankfully, she does not have to work because her wealthy parents can vouch for her prolonged unemployment.

Financial concerns aside, it is interesting to note that Grace’s envy of her colleagues’ success is what killed her career. There is a huge difference between jealousy and envy.

Jealousy is when you want what others have and that which you perceive you are lacking. Jealousy entails faith in yourself that you, too, can have what these other people have, either in terms of professional success, sexual prowess or physical attractiveness.

Thus, jealousy serves as an engine that motivates you to keep sharpening your skills, learning from the people that you’re jealous of to keep upping your ante in whatever it is you are pursuing: whether conducting strenuous physical exercise if being physically fit is what you are after or continuing to write and reading more books to be a great writer.

Envy, meanwhile, is the utter resentment of people who you perceive as having more stuff than you, driven by the belief that you can never, ever, be equal to these people in terms of literary proficiency, physical attractiveness or whatever it is you are clamoring for yourself.

When you are envious of other people, you lose your faith in your capability to be better. Envy can also cause you to destroy what other people have, either by downplaying their strengths or successes to make you feel better about yourself.

Speaking of career, the most dangerous consequence of envy is that it can destroy your own career. When you are envious of your coworkers’ success, you shut yourself from the possibility of actually learning their trade and absorbing the things that make them successful.

You also will not bother to try and apply these strategies in your own career, as you do not believe that you can actually learn new things anytime, anywhere, thanks to brain plasticity.

Jealousy, meanwhile, can help you get better at what you do. A senior writer and filmmaker once advised me to surround myself with highly successful role models so I could absorb some tips and tricks from these individuals. By combining best practices from these people, I could tell which ones to apply to improve myself.

American psychologist Carol Dweck talked about the growth mindset: your faith in your own ability to learn and grow at any age and juncture at your life, let me repeat after Dweck once again, will give you a highly satisfying path of lifelong learning and growth. If your envy has corroded faith in your own growth and willingness to learn from people who are more successful than you, your growth will be stunted.

Well, what about Grace? She has decided to abandon journalism and writing altogether and become a businesswoman. God only knows what will happen if she comes across entrepreneurs who are way more successful than her, it will be interesting to see. In the meantime, do not be envious, just be jealous!

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