W

omen’s struggle against unfair conditions and habits has become a common matter almost worldwide.

However, this struggle appears odd when oriented toward letting the so-called “fairer sex” enter the traditional “masculine kingdom”. Boxing, wrestling, Ninjutsu and other martial arts, very often quite violent, are some of the sporting activities that women have started practicing.

Lately, following the example of certain Western countries considered to be in the vanguard of women’s emancipation, feminist militants, under the banner of gender equality, have started urging the Indonesian government to employ women in fighting units.

Going on with its line of openness and comparison of opinions, The Jakarta Post has given space to these aspirations, by publishing articles with the headlines: “US military lets women serve in combat, why doesn’t Indonesia?” (March 4, 2012); and “Elite female night raiders break down barriers” (April 13, 2012), referring to the “equal chance” given to female Afghan Special Forces.

Gender equality has become the battle-cry of many women. The male world seems mainly silent on the subject. Recently, I had a long discussion on the matter with a Balinese friend. The discussion brought a new element to this complicated, controversial subject. We started comparing sexes physically and mentally aspects.

Looking at physical aspects, it is acknowledged that women live from five to six years longer than men and widows can live longer than widowers. This shows a stronger spirit of endurance in facing sorrow and the capability to be more self-sufficient than men.

Moreover, women are the main keepers of “procreation” and have, therefore, the main role in perpetuating mankind. This is why the word “mother” is used with a sense of sacredness: we speak of “Mother Nature” not “Father Nature”, the same way we speak of “mother country” and “mother tongue”.

The only apparent weak point, brute force, turns out to be women’s advantage. The smaller development of their muscular mass allows them to have graceful, lithe bodies and charming movements, with power of attracting and seducing men: so-called sex appeal.

As to the mind, spiritual, religious and opinion trends generally recognize gender peculiarities, scientifically explained by different developments of the left and right sides of the brain. Women, by nature and for their past traditional roles, usually have their right side, which controls intuitive, spiritual activities, more developed than men. This makes them more sensitive, intuitive, introverted, patient and empathic. Men, whose left side, controlling rational and outward activities, is more developed, are more reasoning, resolute and extroverted.

These differences make sexes complementary, that is completing and needing each other. That explains also why men have more managerial roles in society, where rational and external aspects are dominant.

Nowadays, women seem to have shifted away from their traditional, natural characters, which obstruct social mobility. Power from money and careers, economic independence and freedom are often only illusory and other typical masculine aspirations seem to have been gradually adopted by women too, generating often internal contrasts and feelings of guilt.

Craving for visibility and success, attaining one’s ends at all costs have triggered the behaviors in the feminine world such as careerism, individualism, opportunism and even corruption. Love and maternal instincts, natural feminine feelings, dreams and objects of play in early female youth, have apparently lost their importance. What a pity! With them is gone a big part of life’s poetry and joy.

But why did women take this direction? At first, their involvement in social life was mostly driven by political and economic factions, needing their votes and labor force. Later on, after relishing social life, they started reacting to injustices perpetrated towards women at family and social levels.

Two main directions were available to improve their conditions: to adapt to the masculine character of society or to make society more suitable to feminine characteristics and values. They have chosen the first way, which seems easier but triggers high social costs, especially to children and old people.

Women could enter the right path toward emancipation if they started throwing light on certain truths hidden behind their struggle, by pondering the following. Take the phrase “home sweet home”, a myth of a time when the house was a woman’s kingdom to raise, educate children and look after old parents.

Is it buried for good, sacrificed to personal ambitions and advantages, often without any family benefit? Why is the house now often perceived as a prison, a place from which to run away? Is it true, according to the well-known Italian psycho-pedagogue Osvaldo Poli, that nowadays many women hate the word “sacrifice”, thus affecting children’s characters and behaviors?

If so, why is the spirit of sacrifice neglected as part of family life, although each mother is unique to her children and family, whereas she is not for occupations outside the house? Is it appropriate to take the national heroine Ibu Kartini as a reference, even though women’s social status was then very different and Kartini’s social class and personal conditions were quite unusual?

By answering these and other questions from the bottom of one’s own heart, women could come closer to their feminine nature. To conclude, the time seems ripe for women to be aware of the value and sometimes superiority of their natural character.

By recovering these values, women shouldn’t struggle anymore for equality, but for the adoption of feminine character in society. And they should not ask anymore for equal rights, but for more rights, to allow them to undertake — in the best possible way — basic natural and social functions, such as conceiving and breast-feeding.

Giovanni Comparini is an architect and urban planner from Istituto Universitario di Architettura, in Venice, Italy. I Nyoman Sri Aryana is a graduate from the Teacher Training Faculty of Udayana University, Denpasar, Bali.