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Ngeo Boon Lin: Being gay and Christian
(JP/Sebastian Partogi)Ngeo Boon Lin believes that although the Church and many books written by theologians have said being gay is wrong, a person could still reconcile his homosexuality and his Christian faith
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(JP/Sebastian Partogi) (JP/Sebastian Partogi)
(JP/Sebastian Partogi)
Ngeo Boon Lin believes that although the Church and many books written by theologians have said being gay is wrong, a person could still reconcile his homosexuality and his Christian faith.
'Since I was very young, I saw Christianity as a religion about what you can and can't do. A lot of Christians believe that homosexuality is a sin that you choose to do,' he told The Jakarta Post in a recent interview after giving a public lecture on queer theology at GKI Halimun Church in Jakarta.
According to Ngeo ' an openly gay pastor who now leads the congregation at the Metropolitan Community Church (MCC), a lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) church in New York, United States ' the negative attitude held by a number of Christians has caused pain and suffering to many in the LGBT community because they live in denial of their sexual orientation.
He said this could be avoided if Christians refrained from the literal interpretation of Biblical passages that appeared to condemn homosexuality.
'Like the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, it's actually about gang rape among men. So what we need to condemn is gang rape, not homosexuality,' he said.
He questioned the inconsistency of Christians who claimed to practice compassion but showed prejudice against LGBT individuals.
'If we really believe that God is love, then why condemn homosexuality?' he said.
Ngeo, 43, a Malaysian of Chinese descent, called on Christians to practice critical thinking and listen to what social and natural scientists had to say about homosexuality instead of just adhering to scientifically unfounded assumptions.
'A lot of Christians believe you choose to be gay and can be 'cured'. But social science research has shown that you do not choose sexual orientation,' he said.
'I do not believe heterosexual people wake up one day and make a decision to be heterosexual. The same thing applies to me as a gay man. Homosexuality isn't something I choose. I was born to be gay,' he added.
He said he knew he was attracted to men when he was four years old, although he did not learn the term homosexuality until much later.
'No one openly talked about homosexuality at the time. When I was 10 years old, I read a newspaper and saw the word homosexuality. And I knew that was me,' he said.
He said at the time he still believed that being gay was a sin and that God could make him 'normal' one day.
'So I prayed every day, asking God to help me become a heterosexual man. I even fasted, hoping that the ritual would help change my sexual orientation. But nothing changed,' he said.
He said that when he was 26 years old he got married in the hope that it would 'cure' him of his homosexuality.
'I told her that I had had sex with man before, but I believe I could change and that I was not a gay man. And I asked her to help me to change, and she said yes. So we got married and moved to the United States to go to university,' he said.
However, he said, in 2002 his wife asked him why she was always the one who hugged and kissed him while he never seemed to have the initiative to do so.
'I told her 'I think it's because I'm gay.' And then, she looked at me and said, 'I knew you were. Listen, we only live once. You needed to be who you really are.'
'Then she continued, 'I only have one request. Whenever you meet any guy that you're attracted to, bring him home and let me see him first because I read people better than you'. To me, she's really an angel, who helped me to come to terms with my sexuality,' he said.
He decided to come out publicly after he read Mel White's book, Stranger at the Gate.
'That book inspired me to tell my brothers and sisters that they were not alone,' he said. In the same year, he decided to study theology at the Episcopal Divinity School in Boston and graduated with a Master's degree in 2004.
'I had aspirations of becoming a pastor since I was 12. I loved singing hymns and I loved serving God through the Church,' he said.
He said that he finally joined MCC as a pastor in 2007, an experience he described as a 'homecoming'.
'I was singing and praying with my LGBT brothers and sisters, and it was such a liberating experience because I did not have to lie to anyone about my sexuality,' he said.
In August 2012, he married Phineas Newborn III, a ballet dancer and Broadway musical producer, in Malaysia.
He conveyed this to the LGBT community in Indonesia: 'You are God's creations; you are created in his image. Just ignore people who are nasty. You are God's beloved.'
