• Jakarta
• Thu, November 10, 2022

We often think that we are being supportive by offering help to others. In reality, however, are we really that helpful? More importantly, do others find us helpful? Simply offering help doesn’t necessarily translate our actions into something helpful as seen in the examples below:

How can I support you?

That’s a great question, but only when someone has put some thought to it before asking such a question. Otherwise, it’s just asking a question for the sake of asking a question, a lip service. Asking someone an open-ended question like that only shifts the burden of solutions to the counter party. Definitely not too helpful.

The conversation is likely going to take a different direction if it starts with a probe like this, “I notice a delay in the Telco tower project, do you think it would be useful if my team conducts a diagnostic to find out what went wrong? Or maybe you already know what caused the delay and have some thoughts on how to fix the problem?” Suddenly, the word “support” becomes tangible actions to solve issues at hand because it is easier to start from somewhere rather than an empty space. Thoughtfulness is key.

Sorry, I made a big mistake

Honesty is always appreciated, especially when someone has made a critical mistake. But is it helpful? Not so much if it stops at that. So what? Mistakes, big or small, happen all the time.

When a mistake happens, what’s more helpful than admitting the mistake is the impact analysis. How big is the impact of that mistake? Who are impacted? How can we minimize the impact and recover from there? That’s the reactive part, the firefighting. It’s certainly easier to firefight when the terrain is well-mapped. 

Additionally, there is also the prevention part, where we learn to avoid making similar mistakes in the future. Doing a root cause analysis is helpful to understand what lies deep within every problem. When this has been identified, the next step is to find and implement effective solutions to prevent it from happening again. 

So, thanks for being honest about making a mistake, but to be really helpful, do conduct an impact analysis as well as a root cause analysis.

I’ll do it ASAP!

When is ASAP? If it is not defined well, how can that be helpful? A team cannot mobilize with ASAP as the deadline. There would be different interpretations on what ASAP means.

To define what exactly ASAP means requires somebody to be clear about the actions to be taken and the timeline. Once this is done, everybody will be on the same page on what is going to happen next and what to expect. When the expected outcomes at certain milestones are not achieved, then everybody will also be on alert, as opposed to just being clueless and going in circles.

Saying ASAP may convey a high level of urgency, but not really if the timing is a mismatch. Anything too late may not be workable, the same with anything too soon. 

Being helpful is a two-way street

While it feels good to be helpful to others, we need to keep in mind that the recipients of our help must also value it.  Big words, jargons and fancy ideas are not typically helpful. What’s helpful is a clear problem definition and action plan. This can be achieved by preparing ourselves well beforehand. When we do that, even if we don’t have ready solutions or answers at hand, at least we can have an informed conversation that leads to something useful. This is certainly better than coming empty-handedly to a meeting and proceeding into random talk. Helpfulness is all about clarity.