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Jakarta Post

Straight women vs gay men

Move over Manolo, the trendiest ladies fashion accessory is no longer sexy heels, not even "the It" clutch bag anymore, and don't even mention a baby, as they're so yesteryear

(The Jakarta Post)
Sun, August 9, 2009

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Straight women vs gay men

M

ove over Manolo, the trendiest ladies fashion accessory is no longer sexy heels, not even "the It" clutch bag anymore, and don't even mention a baby, as they're so yesteryear. Those of you who are still feeling perky and fabulous, state your style bolder than ever with the latest must-have social item for all-seasons, a gff - gay friend forever!

These days, if you're not one of those who think fairy feathers on men looks alien-esque or still can't figure out on why some men prefer to use back door, you're likely a strong candidate for the fag-hag society.

The term fag-hag encompasses everyone from women who simply enjoy the company of gay men to those who fall in love with gay men and even those who try to convert gay men into straight men. The commonalities between women and gay men mean many women find comfort in friendship with gay men?

A relationship between a straight woman and a gay man is undoubtedly harmonious, as they can relax and be themselves without having to worry about competition or romance-gone-awkward coming between them. Beside, it always look fashionable and cool to have a GFF, learn from popular TV shows such as Sex and the City, hello Carrie and Stanny!

Sadly, as cruel as it may sound, in our one-dominant-culture society, where homosexuality is considered a sin, many in-the-closet gay guys are having friendships with a girl just to use her as "cover" to their family or society members. This obviously creates an odd compulsive situation, but hey, even a new born baby would be able to sense this case nowadays.

In some rare cases, there are girls who have a tendency to fall in love with gay men without realizing their orientation. It is a common idea that women want sensitive caring men. And who would be that purrfect partner be if not a gay man, who tend to be more "feminine" in the sense that they are more likely to express their emotions. This pattern happens when girls reach the point where they want more than a sexual relationship and seek out partners with similar qualities.

Often women who develop tendencies for this type of attraction will continue to do so even after realizing it might be a problem. Sometimes they even know that the men they are falling for are gay, but there is a sense of comfort in it, even though they know it will not lead to anything: it is easier to take a rejection from someone if you know the reason is not because of the person that you are, but because of who they are. It assures the woman that it is not a problem with her, and also tends to lead to a close friendship, which is often almost as important to the woman as a relationship itself.

I have had several experiences of women trying to convince me that being straight would make me incredibly happy and sex with women is much more fulfilling. Thanks ladies, but no thanks, somehow it's hard to imagine replacing my interest in sweaty jockstrap with lacy panties. You may think homosexuality is just a phase, but this way of thinking shows a problem with the ways in which that kind of a woman was taught to associate, and also demonstrates the problems that stem from a society riddled with phobias and stereotypes.

I believe it will be beyond beneficial for both sides when a gay man and straight woman build a friendship without necessarily crossing each others sexual preference or being disrespectful. Besides sharing the same passion for fashion and men, most ladies like to get a guys point of view on things; and by having gay friend they can be sure he just wants to be friends, sharing opinions without wanting to get in her pants. They can also go guy hunting or just gossip about them. A gay friend is also a good style advisor - most gay men, of course, if he's a drag queen he'll be busy indulging his own fetish for women's wear! And a GFF will tell you honestly if your boobs need some work done without necessarily offending your feeling.

If you know someone who is gay, sit and talk with him. You could wind up making the best friend you ever had. And once you have proven that my theory is right, and you enjoy your cross-sexual preference friendship, scream it out loud, "I am a Fag Hag, hear me roar!!! Rrrrr!"

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