We were shocked to realize that she could no longer move her body after the surgery. She walked into the operating theater confidently and left totally powerless.

Until now I still cannot find the right way to confirm the doctor’s claim that it was God’s decision that my wife be paralyzed at the doctor’s hands. As a devout Christian, the doctor did not forget to cite Jesus to support his claims.

To Indonesian doctors, please do not take me to court for sharing my experience with Sunday Post readers. I just want to share the pain. And to this newspaper’s readers, I shared my experience with you in the hope that perhaps you can learn something from it (hopefully such an experience will never happen to any of you).

The doctor suggested I choose the most expensive suite in a famous hospital in Jakarta — where top Indonesian leaders like late former president Abdurrahman “Gus Dur” Wahid were treated — because the best doctors in this city would handle my wife.  

My wife fell in the bathroom and broke a bone in her spine. And surgery — by putting the finest rod in her back — according to the doctor, was the only way to safe her life.

She is in a wheelchair now. She often complains that the rod moves and is painful. But all the doctors from various religions that we met assured my wife nothing wrong with the rod and that my wife should stop complaining, because it would only worsen her condition. Several Catholic priests also told my wife that she should surrender herself totally to God and blame her weak faith.

So every time she complains about the pain in her back and her heavy dependence on the wheelchair, I scold her and recited Jesus’ words, ”Do not be afraid.” I do believe her faith is weak, and that nothing is wrong with the rod, because the Indonesian-made rod is of high quality — a guarantee the doctor gave me.

 Recently, my wife met a Malaysian doctor. She asked him to help her walk again. I believe Indonesian doctors would immediate offer to perform another operation. But I clearly remember the doctor’s words to her, “I am afraid of sinning  if anything goes wrong.”

Perhaps, the doctor is not as devout as the Indonesian doctors, but from the CT scan, he showed us that the rod had moved from its original position, and was causing severe pain to my wife. Should she have another operation to replace it?

“I cannot say what alternative is the best for you. I can only tell you what’s wrong,” the doctor said.  
My wife also met a Malaysian internist who concluded she was suffering from severe osteoporosis and suggested a long-term, painful and expensive treatment. He never tried to impose his will. In Indonesia, doctors are always right and never wrong. And even when they are wrong, they are always right.

So my wife’s complaints about the rod and her severe pain for the last nine years are totally right. What should I say to the Indonesian doctors and Catholic priests? Is it true that her suffering is caused by her lack of faith in Jesus?

 To be honest, I had always believed that Indonesian doctors were better than Malaysian doctors, although I have no evidence to support the claim. I guest it is because my strong sense of nationalism or bigotry.

In our case, the Indonesian doctor quickly pointed his finger to God for my wife’s misery. The Malaysian doctor said he was afraid of committing a sin and was afraid of damaging his reputation.

The Indonesian doctor did not say such things, perhaps because the doctors are never wrong here.
There is no guarantee at all that the Malaysian doctor will be able to get my wife out of her wheelchair.

But at least she trusts him more.

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