F

or years I have been bugging, bombing and cooing my overseas friends with invitations to come and visit me.

“Please come to Jakarta!” “When are you coming?” or “It’s been so long, do come. I will take you around.”

But somehow, they always have their own reasons why they eventually went to New Delhi, Singapore, Bangkok and other cities while skipping Jakarta in the process.

After many attempts, one Taiwanese friend, in the spur of the moment, finally said, “I want to go to see you. There is so much I want to chat about”.

Indeed, after finishing our studies four years ago, we only saw each other once in Singapore when she made her second trip to Southeast Asia. She had visited Kuala Lumpur before. However, for her, Indonesia seemed like a different world — a little like the Wild West.

Discovering her misconceptions, I began flooding her with stories about Indonesia in hopes she would get the picture and come. Finally, she was interested.

In no time, I pushed for a fixed date and offered a rough itinerary to keep her interest up before she changed her mind.

I was worried because another friend of mine, a Singaporean lady, once canceled her trip here at the last minute after hearing about Marriott Hotel bombing in 2009. She said her mother cried and urged her to cancel the visit.

I could only say okay, but it hurt my pride as my city — merely a one hour flight from her — was seen as such a dangerous place. What hurt me more was that I could not rebuke it. The bomb did happen and people did die.

We Jakartans had no problem going on as usual, but foreigners think we live in a danger zone. Worse, I could not guarantee there would be no more bombs and that she would be totally safe. I could only say something like “it should be safe” rather than “it is safe”.

Jakarta is our home; but for visitors, they have the option to decide not to come.

Learning from experience, this time I used a hard sale strategy. I listed all the good things about Jakarta I could think of, although I did throw in the reality of traffic jams so she could make an informed decision.

“First we can visit the Old Town and there are many museums here. The National Museum, Textile Museum, Wayang Museum and many more,” I wrote in an email, knowing the word museum would interest her.

I suggested we go to Kemang in the evening for good food and to enjoy Jakarta’s buzzing nightlife. I said we could also shop and go to the spa. I sold her the hip, popular image of Jakarta.

As expected, she became excited and started to get the paperwork done. I assumed she was hooked, well, until I got another email. “Can you tell me our exact itinerary?” she asked.

The plane ticket from Taipei to Jakarta was expensive, so naturally she wants to make good use of her time in Indonesia. But I smelled uncertainty between her words. I was right. Veteran backpacker that she is, she naturally did her research on Jakarta and unfortunately found negative feedback.

I racked my head to think of a good itinerary that would interest her, but I could not. So I wrote a vague reply.

“There are a lot of things we can do during your five-day stay. No worries. We can also go out to Pulau Seribu, Sunda Strait to see Krakatao volcano, or to Tangkuban Perahu volcano for the hot springs.”

I started selling other places because my dear metropolitan city failed to tempt her.

I promised to pick her up at the airport and drive us around so she need not worry about felonious taxi rumors, but the traffic is an issue beyond my control, so we’ll just have to live with it.

After many email exchanges, she finally said, “I just cannot find travel info about Jakarta. Most travel information is about Bali. Many people recommend that I not go to Jakarta because of safety, traffic — and there is not much to see. I just worry; will I need to be vigilant during this trip without being able to relax? Can we go to Bali instead?”

With that, I rest my case. Sorry, Jakarta. I tried to promote you, but I failed — again.

— Mariani Dewi