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span class="caption" style="width: 398px;">JP/Cynthia Webb“I got the missionary-type zeal from my aunt,” says Dede, laughing, “but I don’t use it for religion.”

His aunt was a member of the Pentecostal church and an evangelist. However, Dede’s evangelism is his belief that life should be easier in Indonesia for people who are of differing sexualities than the so-called “norm”. He particularly wants to help young people facing social, religious and family disapproval.

As a 58-year-old gay man, he remembers vividly when he finally broke the news to his parents at the age of 20. He was lucky, and after the initial shock his father adjusted and his mother was more accepting. They soon said, “It doesn’t matter. You are our family and you must be with us.”

Of course, he was aware much earlier that he was not like other boys. “My friends were all calling girls. At first, I didn’t know what it was,” he said, speaking of the awareness of difference as if it were an ailment. “I volunteered to go to a psychologist who gave me a course of books and material to read. Once I had read it all, I realized that there was nothing the matter with me!” he exclaimed jubilantly.

He grew up in East Java’s Pasuruan, which was the sugar capital of Java in the 19th century. “I went to a Catholic school. My father’s side were Pentecostal and he was — well, nothing really. We were not rabid atheists, just rather neutral about religion.”

Perhaps this has contributed to Dede’s free-thinking style about every subject to be discussed, including sexuality.

Dede longs to see an improvement in the social and legal attitudes to those who are gay, lesbian, transgender, waria or any of the other variations within human sexual preferences. He just wants other people to be nice to the people around them — as he was taught at home as a child. And he believes one’s sexual preferences are nobody’s business but are a matter of personal identity and freedom.

He was recently in Yogyakarta for a few days as a guest speaker at an interfaith youth camp held in Kaliurang. About fifty young people from all over Indonesia were selected to attend the camp that emphasized issues of faith and sexuality, as they often face conflict and disapproval within the religious environment.

Dede is a resident of Surabaya, and his partner of seven years lives in Yogyakarta, so he said they have “a long-distance relationship”. Dede is a part-time lecturer at Airlangga University in Surabaya, where he teaches master’s degree courses on gender and sexuality.

In 1978 after a TESOL course, the 24-year-old Dede went to the US to study linguistics at Cornell University. He wanted to teach English, however he heard that Cornell was looking for a teaching assistant in their Indonesian language program, and they gave him a chance at the job.

In the US he learned a lot about the gay and lesbian movement and became more comfortable as a gay man, joining gay and lesbian community activities on the Cornell University campus.

However, Dede didn’t want to stay in the US because of a romantic attachment back in Indonesia. He returned home after five years.

“Also, I knew I was going to start something,” he said. Those inherited missionary urges first kicked in when Dede “got democracy” as he described it. However, it was going to be a long wait to see that happen in his own country.

He now heads GAYa NUSANTARA, founded in 1987, which has the long-term aim to get a law passed forbidding discrimination on the basis of sexual preference. Other aims of GAYa include educating people about human rights, sexual health and well-being (including prevention of AIDS and sexually transmitted infections, and raising public awareness and tolerance). GAYa publishes information through social media and gives presentations at schools and universities.

Dede is in the process of nominating himself (as he called it) to be a commissioner on the National Human Rights Commission. It was announced on April 14 that he had passed to the next stage, with his name on a list of 60 others.

“One of my favorite anecdotes is about a young man, a student who was doing a PhD in Islamic Studies. He was the son of the famous Kyai As’ad Asembagus, who President Soeharto sometimes traveled to East Java to consult.

“This young man was speaking to an audience which included young lesbians, gay men and transgendered people, and he began by saying, ‘First, I want to apologize on behalf of all Muslim leaders who have hurt you in the past. Now, please tell me — what would you like from Islam?’

“They answered, ‘We just want to be members of the congregation, practice our religion and be accepted as who and what we are.’

“The young PhD candidate replied by saying, ‘Whatever you do, as long as you do it with love then Allah must bless it.’”

A very amiable man, exhibiting sharp wit, humor, intelligence and cosmopolitanism, Dede is comfortable with his identity. He is an excellent and warm communicator and his mission is to enable young people to be able to achieve the kind of relaxed and even proud self-assurance that he now possesses.