I

t is important for countries to build friendly, amicable relations with each other. In Syria, it might have been possible to convince the Assad forces not to fight, and many lives could have been spared. We could have told them that the whole Islamic world was suffering.

Syria was an old province of the Ottoman Empire. So, we have a lot in common. We could have reminded them that we had lived on the same land, that we shared a similar culture, had common values and that we love and respect them very much. We might have been able to talk them into an alliance.

That would have set a great example in the Middle East. Not something like the Arab Union in 1958 at the time of Gamal Abdul Nasser, which was purely based on economic, political and national interests and ended with a military coup.

Rather a modern union based on democracy, love, science and compassion that embraces and respects everyone regardless of their faith or lack thereof. Such a union would greatly value and respect women, and be a leader in both the social and political arena. America would probably support such a union, being a fervent supporter of democracy all around the world.

In Syria, clashes and massacres have been continuing with an ever-increasing intensity. While it was initially a clash between the moderate opposition and the al-Assad forces, now it is turning into a four-team war: Assad, et al, the opposition forces aligned with the exiled general in Istanbul, and the radical opposition groups, aligned with al-Qaeda.

The Democratic Union Party (PYD), which is similar to the PKK in Turkey, a Marxist group, also came on the scene recently. It is aiming to have an interim Kurdish state in Northern Syria. The two opposition factions are starting to wage war against each other, and it is all working out for Assad.

The West does not want Assad to win, but if the moderate opposition can'€™t win, then they would not want the radicals to win and become a power in the region. Therefore, there is a deadlock.

Now in the final stages as Syria is destroyed in the true sense of the word, the international community has just started to take the matter seriously.  The West only started to intervene after the fire engulfed the entire house. It is one thing to rescue a person while the house is on fire, and another before the fire has even started. Even now, however, it is not too late. It is still possible to take action and save the people of Syria. Even in the case of severe clashes, reconciliation can be accomplished by negotiations and a compassionate and loving approach.

Syria is not alone. Egypt has been under military rule since July 3 after President Mursi was ousted. And the protests of anti- and pro-Mursi loyalists are still continuing at an increasing pace and the army'€™s attacks on the peaceful protestors left many dead and injured including women and children.

We should learn from Syria, not to wait until thousands of people are dead, but as a matter of foreign policy, to take action.  The US and Turkey could intervene to stave off a civil war.

In Iraq, a recent wave of violence that has claimed the lives of more than 2,000 Iraqis in the last four months is the deadliest outbreak of bloodshed since 2008.  The country is still struggling to find a way of sharing power between its Sunni, Shia and Kurdish communities. American troops completed their formal withdrawal in late 2011; not long after, the country'€™s unity government was thrown into turmoil when an arrest warrant was issued for Sunni Vice President Tariq al Hashemi. In December 2012, thousands of Sunnis began protesting across Iraq against what they saw as their marginalization by the country'€™s Shia-dominated government.

In Tunisia, since the assassination of Chokri Belaid earlier this year, and the recent assassination of Mohammed Brahmi of the opposition party, there has been growing distrust between the ruling coalition that represents moderate Islam and the opposition, which has demanded the dissolution of the government because of its failures to rein in Islamic extremists, turn around the economy and manage the transition to democracy.

These assassinations have spawned widespread protests and reinforced opposition sentiments further, holding the current government elected in 2011 responsible for the lack of security in the country.  Also in Libya on Friday, Abdelsalam al-Mismari, a prominent lawyer involved in the historic removal of Qaddafi from power, as well as two security officials, were shot and killed in Benghazi, '€œthe cradle'€ of the Libyan revolution. Mismari had become outspoken, with the support of thousands, a critic of the gangs that control the streets.

Foreign policy experts and official policies rely mostly on self-interest.  Policies are drafted in line with national interests and the view that this is the only way to strengthen and develop friendships between countries. This is a very wrong perspective. Clashes of national interests are the cause of many wars. Countries must treat each other with love, affection, altruism and avoid selfishness and egotism.

They need to find common ground, and it is good to adopt a policy based on self-sacrifice rather than selfishness. If both sides are not willing to come to an agreement, then they will resort to any means to obtain the maximum advantage and may not hesitate to use violence and terror.

Two self-interests can never find resolution; one will always consume other. All opposites can only be reconciled with love and sincerity in a system without self-interest.

The writer is a Turkish TV host, peace activist and executive director of Building Bridges Initiative.