I

found myself self humming a tune that I couldn'€™t get out of my head because it'€™s really catchy, then I realized, the lyrics are really sexist and even misogynist!

The song was '€œBlurred Lines'€, the number-one hit last year sung by Robin Thicke. In the video the three male singers are fully clothed, while the three young women with impossibly firm (plastic?) breasts prancing around are naked save for their skin-colored thongs, bright red lipstick and come-hither looks.

The lyrics alone '€” '€œthat'€™s why I'€™m gon'€™ take a good girl/I know you want it'€ '€” could be interpreted that '€œno'€ doesn'€™t always mean '€œno'€.

But when the victim is drugged and intoxicated, how can she say no?

This was the case of RW, a University of Indonesia (UI) student who has alleged that she was raped by noted poet Sitok Srengenge. He claims the sex was consensual. Huh? If it was, then why would RW become depressed, catatonic and even suicidal?

Reportedly the 21-year-old student was plied with alcohol and coerced into having sex with Sitok.

This alleged rape case is an important precedent, needing careful analyses because the ramifications are far reaching.

Obviously the events have damaged RW'€™s life, not least because the alleged rape resulted in an
unwanted pregnancy.

The events also have consequences for Sitok'€™s reputation '€” and possibly freedom. His alleged rape of RW, it has been revealed, is not an isolated case.

Two other young women have come forward after RW reported the case to the police and claimed they had also been sexually harassed by Sitok. Lucky Sitok is not a politician. Look at Dominique Strauss-Kahn.

After his alleged sexual assault of a hotel chambermaid, attempted rape charges, a reputation for engaging in orgies and trial for '€œaggravated pimping'€, the once near certain French presidential candidate saw his political life destroyed.

The publicity surrounding Sitok'€™s case has affected Salihara, the cultural center where he had previously worked as a curator until he resigned due to the rape allegations. Since the charges surfaced, the center has been dubbed Salah Arah (misdirected) also because it was cofounded by Goenawan Mohamad (often called GM), noted public intellectual, poet, essayist and a founder of Tempo news magazine, who was also involved in an alleged sexual harrasment case in 1996.

The woman, a pro-democracy activist, managed to escape, but obviously the bitter irony of it was not lost on all the very angry (feminist) activists, when they learned of the case. What ensued was prolonged argument between the feminist pro-democracy camp and the GM camp, which in the end, petered out and came to nothing.

Both the Sitok and GM incidents point to the incidences of sexism and sexual harassment in the pro-democracy movement '€” an ironic and disturbing ongoing reality. These incidents are also test cases for feminists who for 20 years have wavered and been unclear on their stand on the GM case. First they got angry, then they got confused, and then they gave up.

This weakness was reportedly due to the coaxing and influence of the GM camp, but also due to an inherent weakness in the feminist movement itself.

One feminist even said, '€œIf we attack GM, who will take care of cultural issues?'€, as if he had a monopoly on the matter. This weakness is due to the fact that it is hard for feminists to organize and create a solid front because the ties that bind them to their (patriarchal) men are so strong.

Even Sitok'€™s wife and daughter have defended him and forgiven him. Perhaps ties of the heart are stronger than those of reason. Or have they been brainwashed?

Islamic conservatives have seized on the incident as proof that Salihara is a haven for free sex, debauchery, prostitution and other '€œimmoral'€ '€” as defined by them '€” acts. The Sitok case gives Muslim hardliners yet another reason to demand the closure of an art center that has become an important venue and magnet for avant-garde freedom of expression in Indonesia.

But protecting freedom of expression and women'€™s rights certainly should not be a contradiction. If anything, they should go hand-in-hand, as an intrinsic part of a democratic and egalitarian society.

But the reality is, the perpetrators of sexual abuse are often those closest to us, those we look up to, those we rely on, those we trust.

Sitok'€™s case has broader implications for Indonesia'€™s nascent democracy with its inherent right to freedom of expression and exploration through culture.

How can the pro-democracy movement expect society to change, to be more respectful of women'€™s rights, if the main cultural figures don'€™t dare to change themselves?

What kind of culture do you expect will come from a place where young women who are eager to learn are being lured and assaulted by sexual predators? This is the hypocrisy or double standard that activists often hold.

They are so quick to condemn public officials and people they consider their enemy, but are very reluctant to apply the same standard to their friends.

'€œBlurred Lines'€ is not just the hit song of last year '€” it'€™s the theme song of our times.

Let'€™s replace it with '€œDefined Lines'€, a feminist parody of '€œBlurred Lines'€, made by the Law Revue Girls, an Auckland University student group. It'€™s an assertive, yet creative and humorous response to the sexist Robin Thicke song. Check it out '€” you'€™ll love it!

Like '€œDefined Lines'€, we should learn how to respond to the prevailing rape culture in society '€” which normalizes, excuses, tolerates, condones and trivializes rape, treats women as sex objects, and blames the victim '€” in a clear, assertive and firm way.

The writer is the author of Sex, Power and Nation.