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By the way ... Breastfeeding dads: Making life easier for moms
Donât worry, itâs not a scary new trend
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on't worry, it's not a scary new trend. Dads don't have to get breast implants or start taking female hormones to share breastfeeding duties.
A breastfeeding dad is a label for fathers who take a greater role in all aspects of the child-rearing process, including breastfeeding.
Fathers obviously can't produce the required milk, but they can provide support and encouragement along with physical proximity, all of which makes life much easier for mothers.
Many young urban dads today are proud to carry their babies and even share photos of diaper changing or anything else to support their wives. Until quite recently, breastfeeding was strictly a mother's territory. Fathers kept out of it. The food supply belonged to mom and the role could not be substituted.
Bottle-feeding is just not the same. This exclusion can create a sense of inadequacy in many fathers. Some dads even resent their babies or have feelings of jealousy.
A family with a newborn baby usually receives plenty of support from grandmothers, neighbors, nannies and domestic helpers.
This support system leaves little room for dad to learn how to take care of his newborn. Bonding between father and child must wait until the infant is old enough to clean itself or even until the two can play soccer.
The custom of keeping dads on the sidelines is not beneficial for breastfeeding. Renowned pediatrician and chairperson of the Indonesian Lactation Center, Utami Roesli, says a husband's support can successfully increase the rate of exclusive breastfeeding to 98 percent.
Although breastfeeding provides amazing health and bonding benefits, it can be challenging for a new mother ' especially for the first six weeks. She can have sore nipples, milk supply problems or a fussy baby ' all the while dealing with the regular baby blues.
Breastfeeding challenges can also come from the traditional support system itself, particularly from mothers-in-law.
They can have different views on breastfeeding and believe in old myths, such as: 'Don't breastfeed while you hair is still wet or your baby will catch flu', or 'don't eat seafood or the breast milk will smell and taste fishy.'
I used to pretend I couldn't hear my mother-in-law each time she told me another breastfeeding myth. Who wants to argue with their mother-in-law anyway?
Dads can contribute valuable support in the breastfeeding process. One way is by burping the baby. A dad's shoulder and flat chest provide perfect pressure on the baby's tummy to help release uncomfortable air bubbles. Also, his deep humming is more comforting than a mom's higher pitched tone. Dad can also be the perfect diplomat for dealing with grannies.
When I breastfed my first baby, he had colic, which was so frustrating. My husband came to the rescue by finding the 'tiger in the tree' technique online. He would make a cradle with his arms, resting the baby's tummy on his hand and gently swing the baby to help release trapped air. It worked! My husband said it was more satisfying than winning any game.
Fathers' involvement has increased during this past decade.
Expectant fathers now join breastfeeding preparation classes. Ask them how to avoid sore nipples and many will answer like a breastfeeding counselor. They have even set up an online support community called @ID_AyahAsi.
'We started with eight young dads in 2012. Now we have representatives in 20 cities and more than 180,000 Twitter followers,' says Shafiq Pontoh, one of the founders.
Another founding member, Sogi Indra Dhuaja, says dads are able to learn by sharing tips and experiences. 'It's amazing to see that it's inspired many dads to become involved and make breastfeeding more pleasant for the whole family,' he said. I couldn't agree more. Not least because he is my husband.
The trigger of this change may be declining support from the extended family and neighbors ' as everyone gets busier with their careers, forcing parents to become more independent in caring for their babies.
There is also an economic factor. Breastfed babies are usually healthier, which means fewer medical bills for dad to pay. And, money is not being spent on costly milk formula
One agent of the changing attitude to fatherhood is Brad Pitt, who was frequently photographed with Angelina Jolie as she breastfed their twin babies. Photos of him surrounded by the couple's six kids have created a new image of the perfect dad in our celebrity-obsessed culture.
Whatever the triggers are, this change is for the better. So, new dads, remember: The longer your wife breastfeeds, the more money you can save to buy the latest gadgets.
' Iis Mattjik
