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violent gut-wrenching twist ripped apart my stomach as the Jakarta election quick-count results were announced. My mouth immediately ran dry, filled with a powerful sour and salty aftertaste.

The iron-like saltiness was clearly blood, probably generated by internal bleeding as my organs threatened to shut down in a coordinated wave of protest, demanding that I move them to a different city that is more civil, cultured and clean from corruption.

For the last few days, paramedics and witchdoctors have been working around the clock treating this widespread physiological reaction affecting 40 percent of Jakarta’s voters, who are experiencing recurrent relapses into shock as pictures of Anies Baswedan are televised as the winner of the Jakarta election over Basuki “Ahok” Tjahaja Purnama.

Doctors are unavailable to treat the epidemic outbreak because they are scrambling to patch together the disfigured, decapitated and disemboweled carcass of Jakarta’s international image, once a beautiful, flawless and radiant face of an aspiring democratic global power.

Breathe it in. Can you smell it? Jakarta now emits a putrid, pungent and pulsating stench of intolerance, ignorance and irrationality. You can never see Jakarta in the same way again. Now, it’s time for the blame game.

First, I blame my late father who died when I was four. Obviously, he filled my head with dangerous ideas and false expectations. He taught me to learn from the best learning institutions in the West, speak the languages of the world and make my mark in the world by teaching the unlearned and speaking up for the voiceless.

I shouldn’t be happy when my voice is published in The China Post, The Bangkok Post, The Phnom Penh Post, The Philippine Daily Inquirer or The Jakarta Post. I need to get myself on top of a tower, blare out my ideas in NASA-spaceship-launching volume and threaten to refuse burial rites to those disagreeing with my ideas.

In Jakarta, the pen is not mightier than the sword. Honestly, my pen seems downright unimpressive after watching videos of machete-brandishing anti-Ahok group declarations.

Second, I blame our founding fathers. Until their last dying breath, they spoke, wrote and believed in “the idea” of Indonesia: an egalitarian civic nation, home to all Indonesians regardless of their creed, color or culture.

They were obviously mistaken.

Third, I blame the French Revolution and the Scottish Enlightenment. The French taught me that freedom triumphs in a democracy and can even topple tyrants, instead of installing them. The Scots tricked me into believing in the human agency for change and that reason can pave the way to a better future for
societies.

The reality? Americans voted for Donald Trump, Jakartans chose Anies and the most powerful economy and (soon) the strongest military in the democratic global order is communist China. Democratic irony at its best. Unlike Jakarta, at least Beijing is doing something right. Good for them.

Fourth, I blame the so-called Ahokers. This lazy, arrogant and exclusive group of Ahok supporters had convinced me that he was sure to win because of his stellar performance and incorruptible ethics.

Ahokers got cocky and did not feel the need to campaign, reach out, maneuver and persuade others beyond their own comfort group and simply allowed swing voters to slip away.

The sectarian camps were much better than Ahokers. However awful their ideas might be, they showed up en masse on streets, coordinated and plotted with other “cryptic conservatives” in the government.

A smear campaign is still a campaign — it takes a massive amount of time, energy and focus to pull one off. The majority of Ahokers most likely didn’t do diddly-squat prior to showing up on election day.

Fifth, I blame Indonesian civil society activists for their attention-deficit disorder. After the Ahok trial ends, they will relax meanwhile missing the bigger picture: the Blasphemy Law remains a potent future tool to persecute minorities.

Last, I blame Barack Obama because he staged a spectacle more awe-inspiring than the moon landing: that someone from a minority group could lead a democracy.  

Jakartans hoping for an Obama moment got the caliphate version of Trump instead.

Unlike my academic articles on international relations, this article offers no solution and is meant simply to convey a passive-aggressive frustration in a joking (but absolutely serious) manner.

My deepest condolences for Jakarta. Today, Jakarta shames “the idea” of Indonesia: the belief in a home for all Indonesians regardless of their creed, color or culture.

May the new Indonesian capital in Palangkaraya live up to the pluralist, civilized and democratic ideals of our founding fathers.
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The writer is executive director of the Marthinus Academy, Jakarta. The views expressed are his own