Work It Right:

Finding your 'third space' in 2023

• Jakarta
• Thu, December 29, 2022

There has been nothing like the COVID-19 pandemic to remind us that sharing space with others is a critical part of our wellbeing. Living confined at home for more than two years and having to maintain our distance with others have triggered the maddening feeling of disconnect. After all, humans are social creatures and wired to connect with others, and the absence of social activity has resulted in feelings of intense boredom, loneliness and alienation.

What is a third place?

Sociologist Ray Oldenburg has long recognized our need to be a part of a communal space. In The Great Good Place (1989), he talks at length about the need for a “third place” between home, or the “first” place, and work, or the “second” place, where people can spend their time.

While home is private and work offers a structured social experience, a third place is a generally more relaxed public environment where people meet and interact informally in different ways. Such spaces fulfill people’s need for recreation before, between and after work and family.

According to Oldenburg, a third place is a powerful remedy to isolation and exclusion. It restores connections, gives us identity, provides support and enables us to be our genuine selves. Strong social relationships are vital to our health and happiness, and a third place, also called “third space”, is a haven for building rapport with others.

How does a third space look like?

During the pandemic, many third spaces went online, from social media platforms to messaging groups. However, according to Oldenburg’s observations, the most effective environment for a third space is an offline place, where people can bump into each other both casually and frequently. He also mentions the following characteristics as being unique to a third space.

1. Neutral ground

The activities that happen in a third space do not usually involve serious planning, scheduling, structure or organization. People are free to come and go as they plaease. They are there because they want to be there, not because they have to be. It is the absence of rigid rules that makes a third space attractive, allowing people get away for a while from their issues at home and work.

2. No hierarchy

Everybody is welcome in a third space. It is an equal, unpretentious communal space where neither economic nor social status matter, and there are no requirements for participation.

3. Low-profile

Third spaces are usually modest establishments, and some even resemble a comfortable, warm and inviting living room. This makes people feel comfortable spending time there.

4. Easy Access

There are no physical, regulatory or financial barriers to entering a third space. They are accessible to everyone.

5. Regular visitors

Third spaces are frequented by regulars: people who habitually return and become an important part of the mood and atmosphere of a space. They give the space character, set the tone and are welcoming to both old-timers and newcomers.

6. Free conversation

People gather in a third space primarily to enjoy each other’s company. There is a strong sense of spontaneity, purposelessness and willingness among all participants to go wherever the conversation leads them.

7. Playful mood

Third spaces allow people to put aside their concerns and get into a playful mood, in contrast to their more serious approach to their duties at either home or work. The conversations are usually light, often filled with witty exchanges.

8. Home away from home

Although a third space is not home, it is remarkably similar to a good home in terms of the psychological comfort and support it extends.

Third spaces in 2023

With pandemic restrictions easing, hopefully toward full reopening in 2023, anticipation and excitement over physically reconnecting with others has appeared on the horizon. What spaces could accommodate such hopes? From warteg (food stalls) to coffee shops, plenty of venues are available to serve as a third space. Some people have even created their own third spaces, such as an arisan (tontine) group and creative communities.

The excitement over venturing into communal spaces and socializing is again in the air. From being online in 2020-2022 to going offline 2023, in whatever space that might be, plenty of conversations await us. After all, we have a lot to catch up on, don’t we?

Wishing you great conversations in 2023!