Statistics on domestic violence are chilling. In the US, 31,260 women were murdered by an intimate between 1976 and 1996, according to aardcarc.org, an abuse, rape and domestic violence aid and resource collection’s website.

These numbers are substantially higher than deaths in a war zone. In the six years, from March 2003 to December 2009 just 4,282 American soldiers were killed in war torn Iraq according to the globalsecurity.org. In 1991 alone, more than 6,000 women died from domestic violence in the US according to a report from its Department of Health and Human Services.

Domestic violence is a world war zone. In Jakarta, one woman dies every month at the hands of her husband and a further 657 women reported abuse last year, according to the Legal Aid Institute of the Indonesian Women’s Association for Justice (LBH APIK) that trains police to give victims support.

“We are not sure about the precise numbers when it comes to domestic violence, yet a source from the police department said that only one in 10 cases was reported, says LBH APIK in an emailed statement. LBH APIK also states the Government is serious about protecting women form violence and punishing perpetrators.

Violence within families has no borders. The beating of mainly wives and girlfriends happens in every country around the world. Domestic violence pays no heed to wealth or status, race or religion; it is almost as common among the rich as among the poor, in the world’s biggest country and on the tiniest of islands.

Levels of domestic violence are about the same per capita around the world, with one in three women abused physically or sexually, according to Nur Hasyim of the Rifka Annisa women’s crisis center in
Yogyakarta, however statistics in Indonesia are patchy with data on deaths from domestic violence particularly difficult to access.

Rifka Annisa is Indonesia’s oldest women’s crisis centre, established almost three decades ago. “We have found domestic violence happens across the social spectrum. However numbers of victims are greater among the low to middle educated people and the poor,” says Hasyim, coordinator for Rifka Annisa’s men program.

And it is to the men and law we should be turning for solutions says Hasyim, because the only actions that have an impact and prevent domestic violence escalating, sometimes to murder, are protective laws for women that are enforced, safe shelters where women can flee when under threat, and counseling and anger management for the perpetrators. Rifka Annisa began its men’s program in 2007.

“We started the men’s program because our database shows most women go back to their husbands — about 90 percent. Working with abusers is not easy. However, most of the men who have joined our program are volunteers because their wives have insisted they do this. Under the 2004 national law on eliminating violence in the home, there is a law where judges can order men undergo counseling, but most are voluntary,” says Hasyim of addressing the root factors in domestic violence.

He points out educating perpetrators that what they are doing is criminal and has a disastrous impact on all family members goes a long way in altering mindsets.

“We say to them this is criminal. We inform them of the negative impact to their families. Many do not realize they are bringing negative feelings to their families. These men often have problems managing their emotions and do not know how to build non-violent communication. We help them establish non-violent communication,” says Hasyim.

Reports around the world have long pointed to cycles within family violence, when a son watches his father beat his mother that is his norm. Hasyim says this cycle is a common factor in what forms a wife beater.

Rifka Annisa’s pilot manual is currently being used in the Women’s Crisis Center in Bengkulu, Rumah Perempuan in Kupang and Riska Annisa in Yogyakarta. To date, despite the 2004 legislation on men’s counseling for domestic violence, the government is yet to implement programs, explains Hasyim.

Catur Udi Handayani, a divisional manager at Rifka Annisa, says almost 300 women sought help from Rifka Annisa in 2009 with numbers of reported abuse rising annually.

“We can not tell from the data if this rise in reporting is due to the implementation of the 2004 law against violence in the home. More women now feel they can report,” says Handayani.

Indonesia’s Domestic Violence Law (Law No. 23/2004), which covers physical, sexual or psychological violence and neglect or abandonment within a household, applies across the country, however in Bali the local adat law often overrides national law, placing women at great risk of domestic violence.

While women can report domestic violence to the police, their role in family life, as chattel of their husbands, places them in highly vulnerable and impoverished positions. They are essentially trapped in family violence by their lack of alternatives.

One lawyer suggests women planning to marry into a Balinese family should be very careful and take out a prenuptial agreement because, according to Balinese lawyer Anak Agung Bagus Putrajaya, the Balinese customary laws on women can turn them into virtual slaves devoid of basic human rights.

“It’s like women are slaves. Under our adat or customary laws, when a woman marries, she loses everything. All she owns belongs to her husband, including herself and her children. An example is if I have a sister and she marries into a Balinese family, any inheritance from our family goes not to her, but to her husband,” says Putrajaya.

Bali’s adat laws run counter to many national laws on domestic violence including article 9 paragraph 2 of the 2004 Domestic Violence Law, which states that people are banned from “bringing about economic dependence by limiting and/or prohibiting an individual to work properly inside or outside the house”.

Putrajaya adds that in the event of divorce driven by domestic violence, Balinese brides walk away with nothing: Without their children, their clothes or their money.

“If a woman leaves, for what ever reason, she will lose everything — it all stays with her husband and his family. But if we talk about national law, if during the marriage the couple has their own home, the woman gets half the assets,” says Putrajaya.

For a woman who has barely survived the shock of domestic violence and marriage break down, Bali’s adat laws are cruel beyond understanding. The loss of her children, her home and her assets leaves her battered, broken and alone.

Children can choose to live with their mother, says Putrajaya, after they turn 18.

“Children can decide at 18 years, but women can also sue for custody of their children under the national law. So they can try and get their children, but many Balinese wives are uneducated so they don’t know what rights they do have. Educated women use the law,” says Putrajaya.

And it is educating women about the different avenues they can pursue to seek help — referring them to NGOs, the police and government departments — that may help Balinese brides. This assistance can extend to legal representation.

Lawyers such as Putrajaya are driving change in Bali. “We need to educate women about their rights. I think things are far better now than they were 10 or 20 years ago and in another 10 years, they should be better still,” says Putrajaya.

He adds that he does not feel Bali’s adat laws leave women more vulnerable to domestic violence, despite the fact that to report that violence places them at risk of homelessness. “National laws do exist,” says Putrajaya.

While Bali’s adat is a minefield for prospective brides, the national law on domestic violence does give them some protection.

“Husbands do need to be very, very careful these days. Now we have the law on domestic violence, they can go to jail for assault. And there are a lot of these guys in jail,” says Putrajaya.

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