These days, it’s quite rare to hear a metropolitan woman confess: “I’m happy to be in the kitchen and cook for my family.”

Judging by the 21st century’s women emancipation mantras, it would appear that women associate doing domestic chores with being trapped in certain gender stereotypes. Besides, nothing seems fancier than depicting modern womanhood as a woman in a suit working on a challenging office assignment.    

So, do aprons and cooking utensils still stand a chance of making modern women feel proud today? Well, for some women, who think it’s fancy to be a kitchen goddess, they definitely do.  

“I know most metropolitan women today don’t really cook anymore,” says 32-year-old Dilly Kanwar. “So, knowing that I am a good cook would really make me proud. I would say, hey, I can cook!” she laughs.

Just like Dilly, 41-year-old Arke Nurdjatni Scharringa believes cooking can bring her a sense of pride as it allows her to share enjoyable moments with her only daughter.

“I love cooking because my daughter likes eating so much,” says Arke, vice president of state-owned PT PNM Investment Management. “For me, nothing is more rewarding than finding out she appreciates my cooking — although it’s not as tasty as her grandmother’s,” she adds.

With a packed five-day work schedule at the office, Arke is one of a growing number of modern women who realize that cooking isn’t necessarily a home chore. Instead, it’s a perfect way to bring the family together.

“You might not realize, but when you cook, your children will notice your efforts, and deep inside, they will appreciate you.”

That one Saturday morning, Arke, Dilly and their three other female friends went to a supermarket in Kemang, South Jakarta, to shop together. It wasn’t just another shopping trip for them, but a part of their “Mom Can Cook” class, which highlights the role of cooking in modern life.

Walking down the supermarket’s aisles, the women listened to their instructor Rina Poerwadi dole out advice on suitable products they should invest in for healthy family cooking. One could hear them ask endless questions while meandering the shop aisles — like whether they should go for low-fat high-protein milk, or low-fat skim milk, or how one type of cooking oil differs from others.

“Whether you want to use canola, corn or olive oil — it doesn’t matter,” said Rina to the women. “But I do encourage you not to use palm oil because it contributes to deforestation,” she added.

Rina explains her class isn’t just about learning how to cook — studying ingredients and recipes — but also highlights the link between our food and the environment. Rina also introduces the concept of “Food Healing”, where food is used to heal health imbalances.

In the end, there is something for everyone who wants to rediscover the joys of home cooking.

“Busy working mothers don’t have much time for their children,” says Rina, also a holistic aromatherapy therapist. “But if they spend time cooking at the weekend — instead of going to malls — they will be able to reach out to their children.”

For example, Rina goes on, when we start to cook, the chances are our daughters or sons will probably ask, “Mom, what are you cooking today?” That, she says, is a good starting point for a conversation.

“You can later ask them what they were up to that day, or ask whether they can help you with the cooking or just set the table.

“You can even go for more personal conversations with them, encourage them to share their stories with you. This is how you can bond with your children and get closer to them,” she adds.

This way, Rina says further, children and parents communicate on a more regular basis, not just when problems arise.

“We also believe that introducing our children to a good and wide variety of home cooked food helps them develop a good sense of taste and appreciation,” she says.

And home cooking, Rina explains further, can actually be used as a powerful “weapon” when our children don’t live with us anymore.

“We know children have fond memories of their mother’s cooking,” she says. “So one day, when they grow up, they will call you up and say, ‘Mom, I want to go home, I miss your cooking.’”

And this kind of bond Himbar Andriyani believes is missing among Indonesian people.

“I can sense our lifestyle in Indonesia today doesn’t really embrace family bonding,” says the 40-year-old painter, who has been living in many parts of the world in the past few years. “We rely too much on housemaids to cook or prepare our food, for example, while this activity could actually be performed by both parents and children.”

And as we don’t cook, Himbar goes on, “it also means we ‘indirectly encourage’ our children to buy
food, which shapes their future eating habits.”

To prove the power of cooking, young mother Kiki Munro shared how her 3-year-old son understood cooking was an expression of love.

“One day, he found me cooking and asked what I was doing,” said Kiki to the rest of the cooking group. “I told him I was cooking with love spices, and he remembered that so clearly that the following days he said, ‘look, I’m eating the food that mommy cooked with love.’” she smiled.

Other new moms in the group, like 25-year-old Astrid Broderick, also want to see if cooking can strengthen the bond in the family.

“This is the first time I am learning how to cook,” Astrid confesses. “I found cooking is important because I will eventually move to another country, and my husband and I know it’s important to be independent [from house staff].

“I also heard that cooking could enhance the relationship within a family, so I’m looking forward to it,” she adds.

According to Rina, women who come to her to learn how to cook are from various backgrounds – they are not only mothers, but also single women who see cooking as an important basic skill to master today. One participant also wants to learn how to cook healthy food for her sick parent.

At the start of each class, Rina and her cooking group will shop for ingredients together. They have a list of what to buy for the recipe of the week, but quantities aren’t limited.

“Some might want to cook for five people, others for three,” she says. “We don’t just cook sample food here — we cook real food we can bring home to be enjoyed by our families,” she adds.

After the “shopping course” — where they learn how to shop for convenience and efficiency, as well as to select spices and food products, the group goes to Rina’s place to practice their recipes of the week, categorized under “A to Z themes”. From January to April, for example, the group will learn about appetizers, beef, chicken, drumstick, eggs, fried foods and grated cheese (starting with the letters A to G).

“They also learn tricks on how to ‘hide’ vegetables in the food, in case their children hate eating them,” says Rina. “Or how to arrange food to make it appetizing for children.”

If this sounds fun and challenging enough, how about bringing the dads to the classes to share some of the excitement?

“Yes of course. I have had a few people ask if dads could join the classes,” she says. “If your husband is interested, please encourage him. He can join alone or with a few of his friends.”

Cooking can thus not only benefit mothers, but also become a collective activity, where happiness and a good sense of appreciation of food grow together.

Back to basics: Career women from the “Mom Can Cook” class learn how to cook recipes together, to strengthen the family bond and bring back some cooking love into their families. Dian Kuswandini

Popular

PDI-P will likely be part of opposition: Ganjar

Indonesia one step from Olympics after beating South Korea

Bahlil leads task force to boost sugar, bioethanol production in Papua