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Love, but not spoil
“It’s not often I take my daughter for creambath or a manicure or pedicure,” says 27-year-old Marita Eka, or Tata
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“It’s not often I take my daughter for creambath or a manicure or pedicure,” says 27-year-old Marita Eka, or Tata.
“I told my daughter, ‘Mommy doesn’t always go to the salon either’.”
A salon enthusiast herself, Tata admits it’s her lifestyle that has influenced her daughter’s interest in pampering. However, she sets limits with her daughter.
“I only take my daughter to the salon when I feel she has behaved well,” says the mother of a five-year-old girl. “It’s like a reward. And I tell her that too. She knows I appreciate good behavior.”
Being rational like Tata is what family psychologist Tika Bisono says is the most important aspect in indulging kids with “extras”. All parents, Tika says, try their best to provide for their children, but not without limits.
“As a parent, you want to spoil your children, that’s fine, as long as you don’t overdo it,” says Tika.
“From the beginning it’s important, however, to set limits.”
According to Tika, parents should carefully consider how they pamper their children.
“If it has to do with health or medication purposes, then it’s fine,” she says. “But its not necessarily good for parents to spoil their children for the sake of popular trends, because sometimes the children might not like it.”
For example, Tika had an experience with a “high-class” mother who forced her daughter to wear a Louis Vuitton bag to school.
“The daughter was only a third-year junior high student, but the mother wanted her to wear this expensive bag,” Tika recalls.
The problem was not only that the daughter didn’t like the bag, but the mother also made her carry it on her own.
“She would ask her driver to carry the bag for her from the car until they entered the classroom.”
That was because the mother wanted to make sure the expensive bag was cared for, and that none of the girl’s friends would damage it, Tika says.
“Both the mother and daughter ended up fighting over the bag,” Tika said.
“So, like I said, make sure you know where you spend your money, and whether it’s suitable for your children or not.”
—JP/Dian Kuswandini
