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fter a hard day’s work and nasty traffic jams, many people like to relax with a dose of fancifully plotted sinetron (soaps).

A ratings phenomenon of the past 15 years, following in the small-screen footsteps of Latin American telenovela, locally produced soaps are a round-the-clock staple of viewing pleasure (and for some of us displeasure).

Some soaps have morphed into long-running successes; Tersanjung (Flattered) lasted for seven seasons and 360 episodes, but it was mere soap suds compared to Cinta Fitri (Fitri’s Love), which went on — and on, and on — for seven seasons and 1,002 episodes. When the original stars said enough was enough, new recruits were drafted to fill their roles.

During the recent Ramadhan fasting month, the soap opera characters — usually glamorously and/or skimpily attired — covered up for the season’s modest dictates. Then it’s back to bling-bling business when the month passed, with the same pat and formulaic storylines that seems to draw heavily on simplistic fairy-tales and legends (unlike Brazilian soaps, which strive to educate viewers).

Here is the 101 guide to understanding soap operas Indonesian style.

Bumpy rides

We’re always told that cupid works in mysterious ways. We may meet the love of our life in the fresh fruit aisle at the grocery store or from a stolen glance on the long commute home. But in the wacky world of soaps, boy is destined to meet girl in a haphazard and startling way. It can begin from accidentally bumping into each other or — a favorite Cinderella-like scenario — when the rich young man knocks over the poor girl in his car, rushes her to the hospital and, over IVs and respirators, love blooms. Rest assured that love will conquer all, including the ugly stepsister substitutes who do their evil best to get in the way.

The eyes have it

There is no beating around the bush in defining protagonists and antagonists in Indonesian soaps. It’s clearly shown in the eyes; the bigger and crazier those peepers – and their arched eyebrows signifying disdain and anger – the more evil the character is. Soft and demure glances are the visual cues of sweetness and light. If only it was so clear-cut in real life.

Just an evil woman

OK, you can put this down to me being a woman, but it seems that every soap requires that the main villain is a female. Meddling mother-in-laws, devious daughters and conniving colleagues are the cast of female characters on rogue’s row (all boasting those aforementioned bizarre eye antics). It’s high time we even up the gender ratio to include a few more mean-spirited men.

Slow but sure

It’s pretty easy to know how the story will turn out when producers kindly give viewers a peek into the antagonists’ thoughts. The scene usually comes with slow motion and zoom-in-zoom out camera movements, borrowed from the melodramatic telenovela that flooded Indonesian airwaves in the 1990s.

Baby, it’s you

The babies-switched-at-birth storyline must have been something different once upon a time. Channel surf today, and it’s clear that it has become a regular soap ploy. When viewers start to get the switched babies from one soap mixed up with the ones from other shows, then it may be a good idea to return to scriptwriting classes.

Accidentals do happen

Well, they certainly do, but in soap-land they inevitably contribute to one of three conditions: amnesia, blindness or facial scarring requiring plastic surgery. Of course, memory is slowly regained, vision miraculously restored and the face-saving plastic surgery results in the antagonist reappearing as a dead-ringer for the good guy or gal.

All due respect

Indonesian society has changed in many ways in this century, including in family relationships, with children and parents communicating more openly. However, the soaps show a society in which respect among people is disregarded and the language used is often coarse. The TV watchdog Indonesian Broadcasting Commission has issued warnings to soaps accused of violent content and inappropriate behavior, such as the hit teen soap Putih Abu-Abu (White and Gray, the colors of high school uniforms), aired on SCTV.