Özlem Cekic

Being a member of a minority is never easy, even in seemingly idyllic cultures. Özlem Cekic certainly knows this by heart, yet her approach lies in reaching out when others would have blocked out.

Born in Ankara, Turkey, to Kurdish parents in 1976, Cekic immigrated to Denmark with her family as a child and grew up in Copenhagen’s Vesterbro district.

Cekic entered politics by being elected to the Socialistisk Folkeparti (Socialist People’s Party) committee in 2004, but it was in 2007 when she made history by being the first female member of the Danish Parliament with a Muslim immigrant background.

Despite being a part of Denmark’s political legacy, it was soon made clear that not everyone was happy with the election results.

Throughout her eight-year tenure as member of parliament (MP), Cekic’s inbox was always inundated with racially tinged hate speech peppered with Islamophobia and general misogyny. As she became more involved, the abuse became increasingly worse.

While at first Cekic simply deleted the messages, she began saving them as a colleague suggested that it could be used as evidence in the case of an attack.

“I noticed that she said ‘when something happens’ and not ‘if something happens’,” Cekic recalled

Over lunch at the Tugu Kunstkring Paleis in Jakarta, Cekic told members of the media that the turning point came in 2010 when a neo-Nazi with a prior record of attacking Muslim women on the street began harassing her.

“One day, I was at a zoo with my children and my phone kept ringing; it was the Nazi. I had the impression that he was close and he could see my children so we headed home.”

As they got back, her son asked why the man hated her so much when he didn’t even know her, to which she replied, “Some people are just stupid.”

“At the time I thought that was a pretty clever answer,” Cekic explained.

As Cekic vented to a friend several weeks later, the friend suggested that she called up the racists and visited them. This was, quite clearly, a risky move, and Cekic did express her worries, but again the friend assured her that they would not murder an MP and make her out to be a martyr.

She began by calling the one who sent her the most hate mail, a man named Ingolf. As Cekic visited his home, she was rather surprised that Ingolf was not like the figure she imagined: He didn’t have a dirty, messy house and he had a wife.

“On one hand, I really liked Ingolf. He was easy and pleasant to talk to, but on the other hand, I couldn’t stand the idea of having so much in common with someone who had such clearly racist views. Gradually, and painfully, I came to realize that I had been just as judgmental of those who had sent me hate mails,” Cekic said. 

Thus, began what would eventually become #DialogueCoffee, where Cekic would begin dismantling prejudice over coffee with religious extremists to neo-Nazis as part of her NGO Association of Bridge Builders’ program. She even regularly spoke with Ingolf, just to catch up.

Another visit, this time to a man named Kim, who confronted her with mutual prejudices. She noticed that there was a collection of large knives in Kim’s kitchen wall, which she brought up.

“I was frightened and I asked him, ‘should I be?’, to which he said no as he wouldn’t do me any harm. Kim would later confess that he was also frightened that I will bring all of my cousins and smash up his house.”

Cekic’s visit to Indonesia was part of the Danish Embassy’s engagement on freedom of religion and belief.

The timing was rather appropriate as Indonesia had just gone through one of the most divisive elections in its history, where identity politics was at the forefront.

Identity politics were rather strong back in her tenure, Cekic says. Journalists, would regularly ask her thoughts on three topics — the death penalty, homosexuals and abortion.

“My answer is that I oppose the death penalty, that homosexuals deserve to be treated the same as others, and that it is very important for women to have the right to their own body,” she said.

“They always ask me these questions because they think that I will have the opposite opinion as a Muslim,” she said, noting that she did not seek reelection as she was disappointed and disillusioned in the conservative system.

According to Cekic, the key in building bridges is in being friends with those with opposing views, as it would highlight that the “other” is not “a monster”.

“They have the same dream for their children, and no one wants war. We can have differences, but friendship vaccinates us against prejudice,”

“The problem is that we talk so much about the ‘other’ without talking with them, and that is the reason why echo chambers are a big problem. We only talk with people who think the same, eat the same, look the same as you,” she said, noting that it has become prevalent in social media as well.

While de-platforming and blocking others on social media is often the norm in everyday life, Cekic pointed out that deleting the opinion on your page would not erase that opinion in real life.

“I think when you want better dialogue, you have to stop demonizing the others, and tolerate the differences. The problem is, we all say that we are tolerant people, but we all have a long list of people and groups whose opinion we don’t tolerate.”

With politics, she also pointed out that everyone would likely know someone who voted differently, and that this should be solved by civilized conversation. Freedom of expression also meant that anything expressed can be open to criticism.

However, Cekic explained that the line is drawn at violence. Danish laws forbids incitement to violence, and in 2017 the country repealed its 334-year-old blasphemy law.

“I supported the abolishment because — I’m a Muslim, too — but I think every religion has to be criticized. Religion is not higher in the order of things, and I think it’s good for religion that we have discussions because everything is black-and-white, and religion isn’t as there are many nuances.”

With hate speech, she also pointed out that deciding what is considered to be hate speech can also be hazy.

“The government can say that anyone demonstrating against them to be spreading hate, or that women asking for equal rights are provocateurs,” 

“What’s happening in Indonesia, what is your line? I know you are talking about the revision to the criminal code, and that opens up a lot of dilemma.”

Clearly for Indonesians, the path going forward will not be easy. The question is, will Indonesians follow Cekic's footsteps and brew that cup of coffee?

— Photos by JP/Dhoni Setiawan

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