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span class="inline inline-right">Sarah Sechan (kapanlagi.com)Sarah Sechan sits down at a Kemang restaurant, dispenses with the now standard Jakarta conversation starter of “How’s the traffic?” and gets down to the business of ordering brunch.

She opts for a favorite, quipping that she can never figure out how to pronounce the “mille feuille” part of the dish’s name.

Oh, just in case you missed the brief infotainment storm, the 37-year-old TV host is going through a divorce. But she is not about to “curhat” (open up) about the reasons and be one of those celebrities who seeks a public (and strategic) shoulder to cry on.

It’s not her way.

“I run into people, and they ask, ‘So what happened? It seemed like you guys were meant for each other. Tell me,’” Sarah says, wickedly mimicking the ingratiating concern of her interrogators.

“I just have to say in response that this is a process, it’s part of life, and we are trying to work out the solution, whatever that may be, by ourselves. I’m not going to tell everyone my problems.”

She also has tried to keep the situation as dignified and painless as possible for her 7-year-old son. She still lives in the same house with her husband, a graphic designer, and she says they discuss how to deal with the inevitable infotainment media interest.

Sarah reluctantly gave one impromptu press conference when media came to the TV studio where she works; she says this interview with The Jakarta Post is her first since the news became public.

Still, it might strike some as disingenuous for a public figure to shy away from unwanted media attention, especially as a former editor of a women’s magazine and the co-host of Indonesia’s Big Brother TV show.

Sarah counters that her life is not all-access all the time. The contestants on Big Brother chose to have their tantrums and tiffs broadcast for public consumption.

“I’m a public figure, I’m not a public toilet,” she says. “Look, as a public figure I have a responsibility to you concerning what I do in public. But there should be respect there. That is why we have doors and locks, and curtains on the windows. There are some things in life that are meant to be kept private. Otherwise we would all live on a soccer field. ”

She and her husband actually filed for divorce in July, quietly and with no teary-eyed press conferences.  But there was a firestorm of infotainment interest when the news of the divorce finally broke in September. Sarah made the cover of at least one tabloid (“at least they used a good photo of me”).

Most disturbing to her is how the news came into the public domain.

“I filed under my maiden name, not Sarah Sechan, but the case was confirmed to the media by the public relations officer for the religious court. My lawyer followed up, and the person said he was merely confirming the question of journalists who called. Well, I ask you, how would they know to ask under my maiden name?”

There is always something humorous in her irreverent telling of a story, but what she considers an invasion of privacy clearly irks her, especially when it comes to her family members.

“There was one headline, ‘Sarah divorces, dad falls sick’. My father has had several strokes, he has
been sick for quite some time,” she says.

Sarah spent much of her youth abroad, including in New York and London, due to her father’s banking career. She used her English-language savvy, and an ironic take on life and herself, to become one of MTV Asia’s first veejays, based in Singapore, in the late 1990s.

“The relationship with the media was pretty structured at MTV, and in Singapore journalists are quite formal, they don’t want to get too private,” says Sarah of her relationship with the media.

“When I came back here and was still single, I would sometimes do the media thing, but after that I had my husband and family to think of.”

When she married in 2003, infotainment journalists complained that they were not allowed into the ceremony. Sarah remained consistent in differentiating between her professional and public lives, including in never inviting infotainment journalists into her home.

“I always choose to meet at a restaurant or another public space for interviews,” says Sarah, who has also done several dramatic and comedic movie roles. “If they ask for a photo of my son, for instance, well then we can do it at a place outside, not at home.”

She acknowledges that she is a rare holdout among celebrities, because there are some who use the media for their own agenda, whether it’s to promote their latest project or vilify a former spouse.

Blame that on the pervasive curhat modern culture, where discretion is no longer the better part of anything and the public wants to know everything that is going on behind closed doors.

A celebrity called her up when the divorce news was still hot. “I don’t even know this person that
well, but she said, ‘would you like to use the people I had when I was going through my stuff?’” Sarah says, raising her eyebrows. “I said, no, thank you, I can deal with this by myself.”

She lets out an exasperated, “It’s you guys who went and ruined it for me!” about publicity-hungry
entertainers.

Fortunately, today’s hot infotainment item quickly cools and the focus shifts. Move over Sarah Sechan, come on down Ayu Ting Ting.

Sarah is relieved by that, and says she can only lead by the example of how she chooses to live her life. And she realizes she has to try to see the funny side of it.

“You have to laugh about it, what else can you do?” she says. “I will just be Sarah, doing my own thing.”