It might sound like an oxymoron — introverts and networking — but such a group of selectively social souls gathered over the weekend to meet and connect.

The room was relatively quiet for a networking event on Saturday in a high-rise building in South Jakarta. Hosted in a room that could accommodate up to 60 participants, there were gaps in between the seats available. 

“This is what a networking event for introverts looks like,” said Indra Hadiwidjaja, one of the participants in the event, called Introverts Network Asia (INA), in a comment to address the lack of noise in the room. He pointed out that introverts tend to be on edge when they find themselves at social events.

Indra, a financial planner at an insurance company, had joined several meet-ups prior to attending the one on Saturday. The sales executive said he had always been an introvert. 

“In junior high school, in high school, I wouldn’t dare to raise my hand in class, even if I knew the answers,” said Indra.

He explained that his upbringing had affected his communication style. His father passed away when Indra was young and his mother had to work two shifts to support the family. Indra grew accustomed to solitude, especially being an only child. 

He made an effort to be more outgoing at university. About a year after he graduated and landed a job, he forced himself to learn public speaking.

When asked whether he still considered himself an introvert, Indra answered, “I can pull out my extroverted self when I need to, in meetings and whatnot, but I’ll retreat to my introverted self during my ‘me’ time.”

Speaking from experience, he added that introverts could have an advantage “because we listen and people love to be listened to”. 

The room had people from diverse backgrounds and all walks of life: sales, corporate communications, consultancy, banking and finance, education and technology. Some had been working for decades while others were still trying to find a job and hoped the event would offer them that opportunity. 

It was the first time Yulia Sumitto, a 26-year-old bank employee, attended such an event. She said she was hoping to understand herself better and take home lessons to implement in her own life.

The INA had guest speakers who motivated the participants to get out of their comfort zones and gave them assurance that change was possible by holding themselves up as an example.

“I find the tips really useful,” Yulia said. “This event boosts my confidence to speak with people.”

Richie Jimmy Walia, for example, a professional financial advisor, author and motivator, told the audience how his friends who knew his journey were in disbelief about how far he had come. He was not only an introvert, but he was shy and did not talk much in room full of people at the start of his public speaking journey.

He said he became a speaker by conquering his fears. 

“I think one of the problems with introverts is that we think we are inferior,” said Mike Nicholson, another speaker at the event, a human resources consultant and an executive coach who spoke with passion about how “Living a Life of Significance”, the topic of the event, involved taking opportunities that were present in life.

Misconceptions about introverts were addressed early on.

The organizers asked participants to share what they thought were common misconceptions about introverts. One participant answered, “When we think of introverts, we think that the person is shy. Introverts are not always shy.”

Susan Cain’s highly acclaimed book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking argues that society undervalues introverts. She explains that introversion is not the same as shyness.

 “Shyness is the fear of social disapproval or humiliation, while introversion is a preference for environments that are not overstimulating,” Susan wrote. 

“Introverts’ negative experiences include not getting a chance at leadership, not being recognized in the workplace and sometimes being bullied in society. So, I noticed all these things,” Mervin told The Jakarta Post on Saturday.

He said Susan Cain’s book had inspired him to start the community that is now present across four countries, Singapore, Indonesia, Malaysia and the Philippines, after founding it in his hometown of Singapore in 2013. 

Mervin himself experienced firsthand an extrovert outshining his own performance using highly social personality traits, despite Mervin believing that his own work was just as effective. But when given the chance, Mervin realized that he could also do well in the spotlight. Hence, he wanted other introverts “to be more confident to run their businesses, to meet new people, to network”. (ydp)

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