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Batak tradition blocks a loving couple's path to God’s altar
Some have even chosen to be more flexible about the tradition so far as tolerating marriage between men and women from the same marga.
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Holy matrimony: The ring represents the sacred promise of eternal bond in marriage. (Clinovic/Nahla Faizah) (Clinovic/Nahla Faizah)
T
he Biblical story of a woman who is almost stoned to death by teachers of the law and religious leaders after she was caught in an act of adultery crossed my mind when I followed a debate on social media over certain people who strongly demanded that the Catholic Church cancel, at the last minute, the holy matrimony of a couple for the sake of preserving centuries-old Batak customs recently.
The couple come from different marga (clan names) but from the same larger group, which comprises at least 51 marga, including their own. According to Batak norms and customs the lovers cannot tie the knot, as if to love is a sin.
Batak parents will strongly recommend that their sons or daughters marry people from the same ethnicity and religion. From the very beginning, the parents will also tell their children to not ever try to take a wife or husband from the same marga.
But can the parents maintain the customs and traditions today as strictly as they did decades ago? Is it impossible for them to accept change as a reality while trying to stick to the basic rules?
Modern Indonesia has made progress in this matter. Today the state through Law No. 23/2006 recognizes marriages between couples of different religions, which was implicitly banned under the 1974 Marriage Law.
The two stories finally end in different ways. The lady in the popular Biblical story was spared death thanks to divine intervention. But the lovers unfortunately have had to bury their dream of building a happy family in the name of God.
My wife asked me not to write about this couple’s “forbidden love”. She said I would only make the situation worse because of the sensitivity of the issue. But I decided to go ahead because I did not intend to make a judgment, but simply ask people to try to see the problem from the perspective of two lovers who want God to bless their marriage.
