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Why you should consider revitalizing your dining table
At the dining table, parents will always have a chance to know their children’s activities during the day and vice versa because each family member has an opportunity to share stories and experiences in a relaxing atmosphere.
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At the dining table, parents will always have a chance to know their children’s activities during the day and vice versa because each family member has an opportunity to share stories and experiences in a relaxing atmosphere. (Shutterstock/File)
W
hat do children want for their birthday nowadays? From the latest tablet, to a PlayStation, or a brand new bicycle, parents should realize which gifts could potentially cause their children to become psychologically and emotionally detached from them. Even before going through such a situation, I would rather suggest to you prevent this from happening by having a dining table in your house.
What if you’ve already have a dining table? Then you must revitalize your dining table to be the center of your family’s daily activities.
At the dining table, parents will always have a chance to know their children’s activities during the day and vice versa because each family member has an opportunity to share stories and experiences in a relaxing atmosphere. Without distractions from the TV or other electronic devices, family interaction and communication processes can be more intimate during these times—the essence to maintaining family cohesion, emotionally and psychologically.
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Family is the first social system one recognizes in life (Lewis and Feiring, 1982). The primary elements of this social system consist of parents and siblings. Extended elements of the social system could be grandparents, parents’ friends and siblings’ friends. The interaction within this social system is the greatest contributor to a child’s mental development. Two experts observed that the dining table activity within American families—especially during dinner—supported their argument; meals together serve the important function of maintaining the family system through the exchange of information between its members.
Children and all family members are guaranteed to get their chance of discussing something, sharing their stories and experiences, argue on some other topic, etc. The feeling of being heard is one of the most important elements to keeping emotionally and psychologically healthy in the long run. The dining table provides can create the necessary environment for this.
The concept of utilizing the dining table to maintain the family system is rooted back in the early history of human civilization, of when humans entered the phase of food producer. Dining tables became the center of family activity where all family members could spend time together to cook and eat on a regular basis. As well as, at the community level, when humans started to live in communes, eating activities have always been considered a collective activity between one another in the family and community.
The “dining table” should not be narrowly perceived as a “table” in its physical sense, but as the important activity attached to it. Every culture has their own name or their own form of the so-called activity surrounding the dining table. The French call it repas gastronomique, the Sundanese call it ngabotram, Padang people call it bajamba, and so forth.
All the phrases that describe dining table activities involve similar values; togetherness, communication, interaction and emotional connection between one another. Here in Indonesia, we might have heard the Javanese proverb; mangan ora mangan, ngumpul means eating or not, the most important thing is gathering.
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In a modern industrialized society, dining table rituals could be a big challenge. Families are hardly finding time to be together to enjoy cooking and meals at the dining table as a routine activity. The father or mother must go to work from early in the morning to avoid traffic, children must go to school, and the young sibling might be the only one left in the house with the maid. Cooking activities and eating together as a daily routine has become rare due to the business of family members today.
In an urban society, the tradition of dining together in a restaurant is an option. Thousands of families go out on the weekend and flock to restaurants to enjoy their meals together. I would not say this is not effective compared to being at the dining table in your own house on a regular basis. But is it as effective when the interaction and communication with your children is taking place in a crowded atmosphere that we usually get in a restaurant?
Back to the birthday gift for your children, make sure you have one well-functioning dining table in your house before you give your children presents. The psychological and emotional state of your children are in your hands, at your dining table. A child could become very busy with school, cycling on his/her new bike as their birthday gift or playing online games on their tablet or gaming console, but interaction and communication among family members is the most important activity to maintain.
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The writer is a house wife, has worked as a media professional for 10 years in Bandung, and has just started the Indonesia Food Forum.
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